ABout 3 weeks ago I caught my W with a woman. I was devistated and still am, but I thought we had worked it out. But now she tells me that is not sure if she is a lesbian or straight. I want to believe her when she says she wants to work things out. However, if she is having these thoughts now, isn't quite possible for to have these feelings again. Help, I'm so confused!

Unfortunately I am afraid that you may be correct.
Your wife cheated with on you with another woman and is now telling you she is unsure if she is straight or gay. In most situations like this the woman will feel that this is an important component of her life and are not willing to give it up once they have acknowledged their bisexuality.
I have had numerous friends (I am in academia) and
they either got a divorce or simply accepted the situation that their wife would have a girlfriend.
The point is that lying and cheating is not acceptable. The question that you have to decide is whether you would be able to accept this situation. Most women once they come out will continue or lie to the husband for financial reasons to stay in the marriage. I wish you luck.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by cstargrove:
<strong>ABout 3 weeks ago I caught my W with a woman. I was devistated and still am, but I thought we had worked it out. But now she tells me that is not sure if she is a lesbian or straight. I want to believe her when she says she wants to work things out. However, if she is having these thoughts now, isn't quite possible for to have these feelings again. Help, I'm so confused!</strong><hr></blockquote><p>
Welcome to MB ... learn more about MB before you decide to call it quit. Your situation is no diff. A is an A ... W is still in the fog, W might even says she is bi. Plan A is perfect to wait until W sees herself in the mirror. Learn as much as you can about EN, LBank, LBusters, Plan A/B and more. If you could afford it get it to consule with MB. I don't think there many of us have similiar problem like you. Use search function to look for word "lesbian", you might get hits.<p>General Welcome for All NewBuilders: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=29&t=000553<p>Acronyms, Smilies, UBB Codes: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=29&t=000557

Thank you for your replies. I have done a lot of research through MB and found some of the answers I was looking for. However, the situation has turned. W is now telling me that she doesn't want a div or sep but to hold on for something good to happen. I think she is scared because I just told her that I need a decision on her orientation before December. She started getting really nice all of sudden. She has no money or people to stay with and is scared of that, right?

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by cstargrove:
<strong>...However, the situation has turned. W is now telling me that she doesn't want a div or sep but to hold on for something good to happen. </strong><hr></blockquote>
A bit light shine upon her ...
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> <strong>I think she is scared because I just told her that I need a decision on her orientation before December.</strong><hr></blockquote>
LB alert ... you should not push, lucky you she is not ready yet.
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong> She started getting really nice all of sudden. She has no money or people to stay with and is scared of that, right?</strong><hr></blockquote>
You should take the high road ... use it to deposit LB$. Set "safe environment" for W to come back. Never talk about the A unless she initiate it first and be a loving & understanding H and "be there" for her. Just a thought, what if in her confusion she found OW that has $$$ and willing to take her in ?. Do you want M out of fear ?. You should start a loving M, find her EN w/ or w/o her help. Plan A'ing her with it and no LB. You want to be her shoulder to cry on and a strong hand holding her "in her search for her own soul".