After being separated for 3 months, H and I have decided to "date". I am pleased that the contact has been restored and he is willing to try. We talk every day and see each other a couple of times a week. Last Sat night was dinner and a movie and he stayed overnight with me. Its been very good....... however,
He is still flirting on the internet when he is at his apartment. I feel like the computer is the OW. I don't want to jeapordize the progress we have made with our relationship but how do I get rid of his internet addiction. Is this where plan B comes in that there should be no contact until he gets rid of his internet "friends". I am not sure that he would be willing to do that. He is well aware that the internet is my biggest issue. He took the computer with him when he moved out. Am I giving him is cake and letting him eat it too ? I am trying not to LB but am now confused as to how to handle things moving foward. He appears to want to work on the marriage but does that mean that for now we just "see" each other.... how can I get him to see that he needs to "work" on the issues we have.
Thanks

Just out of curiousity, how close do you and your husband live to each other? what are the cirumstances surrounding the separation?
Next, GIVE IT TO GOD! there is nothing that you or any other person can do to change your husband's internet addiction, only God can do that. You just continue to be the loving, faithful, encouraging wife you are being, once your husband realizes that you are all he needs, then he won't have time for the internet, because he'll be pleasing you!!
Go to restorem.org-it will change your life!<p>You are not giving him his cake and eating to, you are just being there for him as you should. <p>My husband and I are separated, and he has filed for a divorce. I moved 330 miles back home because I truly thought it was over, but after almost two months of separation, I can see a huge difference in the way we interact with each other verbally and the two times we've been together. Now I am looking to move back so hopefully we can date again-that thought seemed so repulsive to me-"Dating my husband" but now I know that is the first step to reconciling and making your marriage stronger.<p>Pray daily and hang in there.<p>[ December 11, 2001: Message edited by: SEBREA ]</p>

Juice248,
I read your original posts ... my questions is how do you do that for almost 2 1/2 years and twice wayward. I admire your preseverance. However, you get it right, you set up a plan A, then if it is not enough you do plan B. By then you might have either let him double dip or divorce. Not LB is not enough in plan A, you have to address the issues of your H have on you. At the same time you try to fill in H's EN is he allows you to.<p>How far he is willing to "work" with you ?. MC ? Fillin LBQ, ENQ ?. You have to ask him. My WW doesn't want to work on marriage & want a Dv. I ask my WW to "help me" understand her and myself so that I could put closure on this relation. She agreed to talk to Steve when Steve asks her to call in by herself to "help me". [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . You have to talk fogese and use their logic.

Thank you both
I just need to get focused again. I don't want to jeopardize the progress we have made. So I will continue to work on myself and take each day as it comes and enjoy what time we can have together. I guess I am just impatient to see the end of this nightmare and I feel so much closer now than I have for a long time. I don't want to be over-anxious and read too much into what is going on. He was attracted to the changes I made in myself and I fear I will go back to easily to the way I was. I have to continue to make those changes and hope that he continues to notice. Maybe one day he will want to be with me again for more than just a date. I pray he will see that we have a wonderful life together that he needs to be a part of. It took a long time to get into this mess and will take a long time to get out of it. But you are right. I have to continue to focus on ME.
Thank you for your advice. I will heed it and carry on.
You ask how I can do this for so long ? Because I believe in my family, I believe in him, I believe in me and I believe in US. Thats all I can say. <p>
Bless you both

Juice Have you told him how you feel about the internet?? Have you discussed with him the policy of joint agreement? My fiancee had an "innocent online affair" so she says but i actually found a copy of what was said on the computer plus he was sending her flowers at her work. It is one of the hardest affairs to deal with because they can't really do much wrong. I met a woman online and within 3 moths she left her home and moved in with me so it can be very dangerous if not stopped. It just feels good to your spouse Continue to pray