<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: Bunny ]</p>

Hi, <p>You raise a good question. Plan B is hard with kids. You can set boundaries of discussion points. The purpose of plan B can still be attained even in it's amended fashion. <p>For me, I picked 3 topics to discuss with H. Child visitation/care issues, mail and money. We used to talk every day. When I implemented plan B, my H asked why did I stop caring for him in about 2 weeks after I went to plan B. Funny. Yet we still communicated by e-mail at least 4 times a week and maybe 3 phone calls. I just wasn't fretting over him and pestering him with questions. <p>I did let my child know. In our case, H moved out so it was easier to explain. 'dad chose to move out'. <p>There is a plan B revision thread out there. I will look it up and post it later. I suggest you take your question and post it to GQII. <p>Take Care,
L.

Hi,<p>In case you check this side first, I put some plan B links in your GQII post. <p>L.

Hi - my kids are 10, 8, and 5. Started plan B about 3 weeks ago. I do talk with my wife on the phone and when we exchange custody of the kids, but only about the nuts and bolts of their schedules. I stay away from negotiations about custody, finances, what she's doing, what I'm doing, or anything else like that. It's okay, it works. And my wife can definitely tell that I'm interacting with her only to the bare minimum.<p>I thought about using an intermediary, but I didn't have phone service for 1.5 weeks after moving out, so it was hardly possible to contact the intermediary I wanted.<p>Of course, now both of us have lawyers. She filed for a support hearing the day after I gave her the plan B letter, then she had an attorney send me a draft custody agreement a couple weeks later. It's been a lot better for me, to leave those topics in the hands of lawyers. Whenever I talk with her about those subjects, it's very stressful and I'm worried about getting taken.<p>As long as you're careful about the topics, and don't linger when you have to meet, it should work okay.<p>Good luck,<p>Tom