I am reading SAA and have come across something I could use a little input on. If I read about Plan A correctly, there is a part that says something about the WS withdrawing enough love units that if the M doesn't work out, the BS won't be as emotionally torn up over the M ending than if they hadn't Plan A'd. Also, Plan B is designed for the BS to follow if the A is still going on.<p>Am I reading this correctly? In my case, the A is over (can't be 100% sure) but WS is not making any steps towards recovery. We are just bascially in a holding pattern, almost like pretending that the A never happened. I am the BS and am ready and willing to start working on the M, but WS is still just floating, not making any steps towards recovery. She even told me that we only have a 25% chance of making it, down from 50% right after DDay. I can see how a WS who won't commit to the M allows the love bank to be depleted to the point where the BS just gives up (I'm not there yet), but is there a point where a BS might consider Plan B even if the OP is out of the picture and the A is over?

LHS,<p>It sounds like your W is in withdrawal. While in that state you won't deposit much in the ole bank. However, your efforts to become a better person and spouse are and will be noticed if not acknowledged. I don't know if you have read much here but there is a thread that I often bookmark for people. It is by SKM and it chronicles her recovery from her affair. I think you should read it. <p>I don't have much time this morning, but you can find it by simply doing a search for the key work "chronicles" in the Recovery section. Her post will come up. Read it for it will give you an insight of what recovery looks like to the WS as well as the timing of it. Please note that this is a woman that loved her H and still had an affair. So you can extrapolate from there.<p>But read this post I think it will help.<p>God Bless,<p>JL

are you sure the affair is over? If it is over have you talked about the steps for complete withdrawal from the lover no contact ever again and if so is their agreement on that part? if not then that will lead you to the next objective