Well gang, yet another wrinkle in the saga of the fog. I was all primed up for our anniversary next week in addition to the positive signs I saw in my WS. I felt she was coming home at the end of the month.<p>Then the cell detail arrives. OM's primary number was hardly on there at all. Another number, which was supposedly her girl friend's cell number was there in excess. I called her and asked if that was her girl friend's number--"Yes, she's helping with getting over OM". I found a refined number search and lo and behold, it's OM's new home number. <p>Called her at work and told her that it's time to talk. Forget the LB's, that rule is out now! I told her that I will not wait any longer while she f***s other guy and will not be lied to any more. It's me or him.<p>She says "I'm not ready". I say, tough, either you make the decision or I will and my decision will be to D. God I hope it doesn't come to that but am absolutely putting my foot down.<p>She's coming over tonight to discuss. Group, help me on this one. Her "90 day" separation ends at the end of the month. I am not willing to wait after finding out that the A was full blown and has been for two years.<p>Plan A is officially over. Plan B never made it to the light of day. As long as OM is getting the goods, I'm outta here. I will not wait for the "A" to die a natural death. I'm sending Schwarzennegger in now and terminating it with her decision.<p>Me or him. I have been patient, plan A'd, been led along that things were gradually getting better and then lied to again. No more.<p>Is there any "in between" solutions?? Me waiting it out is over. <p>HELPPPPP [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]

How about writing a Plan B letter NOW, and giving it to her tonite. No discussion, no getting drawn into arguments and LBs, just hand it to her and leave (or ask her to leave).

guido,
What matter is your decision, calm down. Go out to run somewhere to get your anger out. Then think clearly. I think you should draft up plan B letter just to let it out. If you still think it is time then go to dinner and wait on what she has to say. Listen, listen and listen. Listen to her fog if she is still in it, gather info on how you do in your plan A and what make her arrive to her decision. Do not make any decision nor any demand in anger ... you could send her to h33l anytime, remember that, ok'ed. Call me if you need to for tonight. I will be home about 9:30PM PST. or Ochid has my cell#.<p>Yes, your waiting is over but let it out w/ style !!!. Have a nice anniv. dinner and even tell her that you don't want to take about M until the end of the day. PLEASE, don't spoil your PLAN A .... you have work hard on this !!!.<p>THIS IS THE IMPACT OF SNOOPING .... I HAD ONE OF THIS PANIC ATTACK !!!!!. You should know better.<p>[ January 03, 2002: Message edited by: redhat ]</p>

Redhat/Kam--I'm torn somewhere in between those two options although they bar both so far apart.<p>redhat--I'd love to continue Plan A'ing but knowing that the A was NEVER over and that she is still "having relations" with the jerk is too much. I would love to go to anniversary and all but knowing that he is still the main man in the picture, I can't and won't go through the motions.<p>WS says, when I asked if she would just rather spend the rest of her life with OM adamently said no. I know enough about him to know that she's probably telling the truth. Breadwinner, he ain't. The guy's a freakin'loser. <p>I think that depending on how preliminary talks go this evening, I will either listen and compromise or go Plan B. I typed up a Plan B letter, thanks to the links Orchid left along with our arrangments for our S to stay the same with the exception of no contact.<p>If I give it to her it will not be a long Plan B I'm afraid. Her "90-day" separation will end February 11th, right before Valentine's day. She will have until then to decide and no more. I can't bear to put my life on hold any longer and wait. I've got needs too.<p>Thanks for everyone's support. I welcome any more thoughts.<p>Guido

guido,
Keep plan A'ng until the 90 days. Meanwhile keep your coolness. Just listen to her fog and no replies for the fog and acknowledge the fact. Then if there is no diff. drop the bomb by then on Feb 11th. Hang in there brother.

Hi G,<p>I don't blame you at all wanting to drop the bomb right now. You have been so patient. Have you really plan A'd the whole 2 years?? Sort of plan A'd I mean , sure everyone LBs every so often.
Listen to your heart, and like RH says after you have calmed down decide whether to give the plan B letter or call it plan D before the 11th of Feb. Just make sure your W's last picture of you is pleasant, no blow ups etc. According to MB you shouldn't got to plan B while angry. Very hard not to...
I'm in the same boat as you, D-day 06/00. I more or less dropped the bomb 2nd of Nov.H had waffled way too much on the last few months(dumbed OW twice etc.), and I had to go to plan B. The A is full on again, I'll let H ride to sunset with his bimbo now. Sick and tired of it.I'm not letting H to muck me around anymore.

Please don't leave it too long , plan B before your feelings for your W run out or you get so frustrated you LB her to death. Ask yourself can you truly make it until Feb. I think I left it too late, the thought of having to see H now makes me feel very sick...<p>Take care.