Yep. The poo has officially hit the fan just a few days after his spending the night. Lies, lies and more lies. His behavior had me spinning out of control and I know now that many of my problems--anxiety attack, poor self image, etc., was simply a direct result of having to deal with an entire year of infidelity. Blatant, non repentant infidelity. To make a very painful long story a short one, H came home last month for a few days when he announced he had broken up with the monkey ho. Spent a romantic night. Next night, he announces he cannot live w/o the monkey and if he doesn't get her back now, he can't ever again. Geeez. So I lose it the next day after H goes back to his apt. and son wakes up screaming and screaming again. I take son over there to show H just what he has been doing to us. Walk in apt. (only been over maybe 3 times) and see on fridge pics of our son and in the middle a photo (just on white paper) of him and his mistress in a limo. Said that garbage belonged in a trash can and ripped it up along w/other photos of her. Lost it. Really made a fool of myself, but H lost it too. Last showdown. No one is going to make me feel like this ever again. Monkey has won her banana finally. Hope she likes it. I have lost almost 20 lbs. and yes, redhat, I actually got mistaken for Britney Spears on my last trip to Memphis and was in same room w/her. But, that is another story. The D is in full force and I am back in Atlanta looking for a job (got great offers so far) and moving into a new home on the 15th. Living in an extended stay hotel w/son until then and my 2 birds. Small, but hey, what is it to have the freedom of feeling good about yourself? To know that I am really smart after being told so long that I am not. In his face now. Guess you could say a full blown B but with no looking back. Only way would be if H (new name for him--psychoman)repented and turned his life around and took some responsibility. Have not had any meds or real problems for over a month now. Never, did I believe that a person could be reduced to nearly rubble by another person, but I am living proof. Just like the song, I will Survive. I am. It is amazing, but men have asked me out already. Tomorrow I will relay how psychoman saw me after losing my weight and started asking about my sex life. Told me that I should go on at least 7 dates w/a man until we are intimate. That I can't be indepenent too long and will probably marry again within a year. Lots of suppositions about me and my intimate life. Told him, hey! I was moral before I met you, and will be moral now. My faith is what keeps me going and that's it. No need to worry about me. He is still seeing the monkey. She is not moving here, but we shall see. Bet 6 mos. until she is preggo. She is certainly a piece of work. Yes, all this hurts so much, but am almost numb to it. Just glad to not have to deal with the horrible anguish of

Oh mine .... You are back !!!! ... You are back !!!!. I was worry about you. Orchid will be jump up and down too !!!!.<p>I guess you have learned to let it go. Get your certification, get on with your life but short on finding a new one. You have to learn to show what he is missing. Get your chin up and work on life. The more independent you are the more H won't be able to stand it. Ask Venusian Lady for coaching [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>Catch you up later ... I have to pick up photo w/ my 2 D for the youngest's projects. WW is doing "laundry".<p>[ January 08, 2002: Message edited by: redhat ]</p>

Hi Not Peachy, we are in similar situations, as I have lost it too, and gone nuts over this whole thing, worse than you I fear... but it is hard, hard hard to see your family fall apart... it sounds like you are getting stronger...maybe with good plan a you can have a chance to restore your marriage if you still want to.. I know the anger... I am trying and today H and I are going to a marriage builders counselor... I am soo happy about this, I am practicially jumping up and down.. have to go work on my attractiveness, I too have lost 20 lbs too on the infidelity diet.<p>Hugs to you, I will ck in later,,, I need coaching from the venusian woman too, as my H is in outer space... the alien... stay awayfrom mother ship... his place.<p>HUgs, HONEY

Hey peachy,
When I first responded to you I told you it was because we seemed so much alike. And now- even more. I know what you mean about letting someone reduce you to rubble. My ex did that to me to - it was cruel - I can even forgive him for wanting out of the marriage but I don't know if I will ever forgive him for the way in which he did it- exactly like your situation - I don't know if that is forgivable or should be - an update - he runs around on the girl he left me for too - big surprise - and twice as bad as he ever did on me - he was unfaithful to me twice in 10 years - 1 time a one night stand and the second time with her - mutual friends now say he is the biggest womanizer in town - and she just puts up with the humiliation - she knows - they know- guess that's all they think of themselves. I'd bet that your H ends up the same. It's sad - because that wasn't who he use to be - not the man I knew anyway.
Take care - keep us posted -

Monkey-ho? Hahahaha I like it. thanks for making me smile. I just call my wife's OM "You-know-who" well..I guess that and other words I probably cant post. The closest I ever got to his house was half way (about a hour driving) before I turned around. Good for you. I hope if things dont work out with my situation I can be as strong as you.<p>Be happy!

Hiya Peach!!!<p>I am stuck at work and will probably be hear until midnight or longer. Glad to hear from you. <p>I will call you laters.... K? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Orchid:
<strong>Hiya Peach!!!<p>I am stuck at work and will probably be hear until midnight or longer. Glad to hear from you. <p>I will call you laters.... K? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>
Orchid, she is busy at American Music Award tonite (Brittney S) [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] ... LOL !.

....and I missed it.... Hey peach.... no lip syncing!!!! LOL! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.

Monkey Ho?? LOL Thats good!! I like to refer to my H thing as Satan... I think it suits her well seeing as Satan comes to steal kill and destroy and that pretty well describes what she is trying to do to our marriage! I wish I had your strengh, good luck! [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

Livin' la vida loca in Hotlanta...Had new friend, a cute, never married no baggage surgeon meet me at museum w/son yesterday. Perfect gentleman. H is not ever going to know what hit him. Sent email to me trying to be nice and all friendly, but I see through him. No, I am still doing this in a way acceptable to my faith, no pda, no affection, just now able to have male friend with potential for the future. Let them know that up front, that I am not going to live like my h has been morally living, but can still have fun like dancing, going to a movie, play, museum, or dinner. And you don't have to let yourself go morally in the process. If anyone attempts too much, then they aren't worthy of someone who does indeed place emphasis on morality and family values with her faith at the top. Even old sunday school teachers think I am alright doing this as also attorney. Goodness, I am separated, moving into my new home on the 15th, filed for divorce again, and I should live like a nun for the rest of my life? Even nuns can go out to dinner and have a bit of fun. Just won't get too giggy with it until at least engaged or remarried. I am extremely old fashioned. BTW, have a mall date (going to buy a new toddler bed) with an exec w/media company here who used to head record label--hence he may love my look. Redhat and Orchid--you must hear how I did in fact, over the holidays meet the Brit and Justin Timberlake in Memphis at the Rendezvous restaurant when eating out with friends. I am geared up for ths fight and doing good. Sometimes I tear up, but I suck it up and say to heck with it. He could do it and so can I. that is what we all here need to know that we can be loving, we can be encouragers, but above all stand up and demand the respect we deserve. Doing full blown B thing and Dobson approach. Basically not looking back but giving all to God. Hee he. H's worst fears are coming true--educated, exciting men who can spell. Sorry bout that, but H is only guy I've ever dated who didn't graduate from college (but was still successful and no slam on any friends here who didn't choose the 4-8 year plan)and cannot spell at all correctly and mis uses his tenses. Makes my skin crawl. Hope all is well here. How are you guys? Update me. please? Still praying for you and want and hope the best for you. Am almost in the total mindset that maybe we have been too nice to ws's. Maybe we need to refine approaches a bit..What attracted them to us? How have we lost that spark? Find it and do it for us, for our self esteem and see what happens. Keep the principles, keep our faith, but add that spark and let them think we are long gone. This will be an interesting experiment. That is how I look at this now. LOL! Love you guys..Thank you more than you can ever know for praying for me and my little one. God bless you.

WOw, sounds as if you are moving on quickly... be careful... if you are really over with him... then move full steam ahead, as it sounds that you are. You are done trying?<p>Hugs to you and your new life!<p>HONEY

peachy,<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>.... What attracted them to us? How have we lost that spark? Find it and do it for us, for our self esteem and see what happens. Keep the principles, keep our faith, but add that spark and let them think we are long gone.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>This is plan A all about. You try to live in your life (minus new R or A) and also fix whatever WS's issue(s) w/ marriage, one of yours is challenge, just fit nicely.<p>Watch out for A ... stay away from it for now. sing ... sing ... my faire LB, duty call. I did that with BE (see my reply for jeffers), I stop it cold, talking about temptation. Yes, my BE (brunette engineer) wins in every plus columns compares to my W but I need to stay away from it since WE HAVE TO GUARD OUR WEAKNESS. We are in the very dangerous state, starved on every En(s) by WS. This is how A, EA or PA starts, slow and with fantasy then you are hook on it. Wait until Dv is final. We know that it is our WS's loses when we Dv but they are in the deep fog that they could not see it.<p>Watch theLordOfTheRing ? see the similiarity A and theOneRingThatRuleThemAll [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>Got to go for Sunday night Church ... catch you later.

Hi Peach,<p>My my my, you have been busy. Are we going to have to make an appointment just to keep up with you? Brit and Justin? Well, hope you gave those lovebirds an eye opener...... tell that Justin to be a good boy and Brit not to fake anything in a marriage. This is not a place to practice. LOL!! <p>You are moving a bit fast, my dear. But you are definitely moving. Take care and caution ok? I worry about you. I know that you are a very smart and likeable woman. Let that little one of yours take care of his mom. k? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Be good!!!<p>Take Care,
L.