An interesting twist to the saga. After a weekend of WS being emotional up and down, down and up, I was informed Saturday after asking a few questions to WS, that although she was/did/who knows/ break off with OM, she had a "suspicion" that he was seeing someone else. Apparently, that did it for her and hence the emotions.<p>She went on to say that she didn't expect me to be able to understand (withdrawal), but that it solidified in her head what had been spiraling to the ground as far as their relationship was going.<p>She did say that the relationship was "dying it's natural death", a great reference that she is reading SAA, and that I had to let it and the accompanying emotions go the course.<p>I did question the whole thing, thinking perhaps it was a really cunning lie, but with the crying fits, the depression and her moods, I'm tempted to believe it. That in itself would be great, as Orchid mentioned, it's always nice when the OM LB's. I have to think he LB'd big time!<p>Maybe it's my cynical nature to question the whole thing. As we talked about it, I told her what I felt about really trying to believe that was the truth. Her mood on Saturday night (FIL's b-day) and today (she was over to drop of son) were pleasantly different. She called twice to see what was up (rare) and said she would call later.<p>I suspect that at this juncture I need to continue to Plan A. She picked up my completed questionaires and told me to give her til Friday to finish hers and the book. I would like to think that is promising, but can't seem to make myself do the Happy Dance yet!<p>Last we talked about it, she was planning on moving back in a couple of weeks. I'm looking for counselors that utilize MB and she's on-board with that. <p>Any thoughts?? Hope all of you had great weekends--it was nice to hear from Peachy too!!<p>Guido [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

guido,
Hey, what is "natural death" ?. I think of it as when WW comes to her senses w/o our interfering (manipulating) it and chooses a better choice [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>IMHO. She is waffling now, let it go and plan B as soon as 90 days is up. What you have to watch out for is effort on her choice. Everything else is repairable given time, love, care and honesty. Yes, radical honesty hurts but it nothing compares to D-day yet we stick to it.

I have been reading your posts and I don't get it. Your wife has a 2 year affair, moves out of your home to pursue the affair more intensely, makes a 3 month separation agreement with the excuse that she wanted space to think about her marriage while in reality wanted the opportunity to spend more quality time with her affair partner. Now that she suspects the OM is screwing someone else she comes back telling you that she really loves you. And you wonder whether she is conning you? In my opinion you are taking her back too easily. The question "why" she did this should be examined so that it doesn't happen again. To say that you didn't fulfill all her needs has become a cliche for the right to cheat. All I can say to that is bull****. She was a married woman who had a sacred obligations to abide by the marital vows she took and had no right to take a lover with whom she had a relationship for past 2 years. When she moved out her priority was not you but her lover. She was manipulative to make a 3 month separation agreement with you in case it didn't work out with the OM. You were her backup. You may have got her back but the question is what did you get back.<p>[ January 14, 2002: Message edited by: radium ]</p>

radium,<p>who are you ? Z tries to reach you<p>Are you soulmate11 or javis ?.<p>Are you unfamiliar with MB or intentionally inflicting wound ?.

Radium, Yes, also wondering if you are new to mb, have you read the concepts? I know what we are advising here is different that some traditional ways to deal with a cheating spouse... but the MB methods work. I have seen dramatic improvement in my reltionship so far.<p>I hope you will re-examine the concepts or consider your posts.... the actions you advise will end up in the demise of the relationship... <p>HONEY

Hi G,<p>OM on the loose again? Hm..... sounds like one is not enough..... good way for the OM to LB!! <p>Now the down side to this is that the WS may want to go out there and find another OM. I know this hurts to hear but that is what they threaten. Why? Because the WS' don't like to be dump!<p>Crazy? Yes, but I had to listen to that lamo excuse. I told my H. Then go ahead.....leave but don't come back! Then reality sunk in and he apologized for being so stupid. I did not excuse him. I accepted his apology, he owed me that one! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>So be cautious. K?<p>Take Care,
L.

Orchid--If my WS were even thinking about starting another A, it would be a very simple decision for me. Right now, the only analogy I can think of is football--it's fourth quarter, she's down by a a touchdown, there's two minutes left and no timeouts.<p>My patience is almost gone. Two week left until she's "supposed" to move back in. I think her A really is over, with the fact OM is seeing someone else and left her messages on her celll--"Well, you never call me back anymore so I'm gonna stop calling. . .".<p>However, my needs haven't been met for so long that I beginning to crave it too bad. I want to work on M, rebuild and all that, but quite honestly, am not going to give her more time if she still can't decide. If she can't see that she is in jeopardy of losing someone in her life that would walk to the end of the earth for her, that's a shame. I simply have to have someone in my life that will treat me like I deserve to be treated.<p>I'm not perfect, in fact a long way from it. But I did make strides and gains on improving myself long before I came to MB. I will continue to do so. I want my wife back and I want my life back.<p>So the story goes.. .<p>Guido