emerald,<p>Sorry this thing happens. When WS is at the top of A, nothing will stop them. It is like dealing w/ teenage rebellion. If they are not ready, they will agree w/ your boundry and work the relation out. If they are ready or they are stubborn they will venture out regardless with what you say.<p>I try to warn you before but I think I wasn't clear enough and mylife tried it too. You could only use tough love when they are not ready. When you know at least WS feels that there are more to loose if they have to choose OW. Your M is more viable than continues A. MB approaches it the safe way and avoid this kind of situation. Yes, you are rightfully so in your demand but you might not be marriage anymore.<p>What to do ?.
"I'm not sure what to do next, I have been Plan A'ing it for going on more than 3 months now and have not seen any results, nor do I know if it's working. I have written out a Plan B letter, but not delivered it.Review your plan A. Do you have the list of issue(s) that H said about M or you in particular ?. Have you fill LBQ as if your H doing it ?. Have you identify his top 5 EN(s) ? If not do the same fillin ENQ as if your H would like to have. Read Plan A missapplication by Distress. Then look at in your past 3 months.
Have you adrress any of those issue(s) ? and does H or anyone close to both of you see the changes in you (Samantha for instant) ?<p>If you are confident that you did perfect plan A then by all mean served H with plan B and let him live in his fantasy. However you have to be ready with the outcome. Most A dies within 6 months but could goes on as long as 2 years and more.<p>Otherwise, talking is cheap. My WW wants separation 9 months ago saying that we should be freinds and try separation. Then just before D-day she wants a divorce. Now 4 month later, I have yet to be served and the last time I talk to her she want me to file !!! Knowing well that I will not do it out of the blue. You have time if you want to plan A'ng. Vent here and cry here, we have a lot of support and broad shoulder to lean on. If you feel like enabeling & doormat while you are in plan A ... remember, you suppose to feel that way. However you know you have to take it while you are working on the issue(s) of M, H's issues about you. Once you address all the issue(s) and H acknowledge the changes is here to stay and still having A, you decide when to go to plan B. It is your time to rock H's world and to get ready to move on.<p>H still have to have money to file (when ??), H still yet have to wait until Dv is finalized (6 months or so). In the fog WS say a lot of outrageous thing and illogical too but you watch their actions not their words.<p>Good luck.<p>[ January 14, 2002: Message edited by: redhat ]</p>
