Well gang, here's the scoop. Had dinner last night with WS and son. We chatted while he played. It was nice and I brought up her thoughts on moving back in. Her 90 day self imposed separaration is up at the end of the month. She waffled. She's nervous, feels she should be excited, she's scared. I told her that seemed to be a common theme.<p>She didn't give me an answer. Today, when we were on the phone, I asked her again. I might note that last night I told her that if she couldn't decide or was thinking about trying to get more time "to decide" out of me that at this point I am unwilling to do so. My EN's haven't been met for a long time and my lovebank is almost in the red permanently.<p>This afternoon, again, she waffled. We are scheduled for a "date" on Sunday and she promised that she would finish SAA (she's about 1/2 done) and fill out the questionaires. That's at least a positive in the whole scope of things.<p>At this point, I am honestly not prepared to give any more time. I've been Plan A'ing for almost a year (changed a lot of behaviors before ever coming to MB site)and have been through a 90-day separation and a couple of 3 week instances where she moved in with her sister or rented motels.<p>Her A is over as of a few weeks ago. That I nearly `100% on this time. I realize it takes time to get over the OP. I realize they have withdrawal. I also realize that I cannot give more time. I want to be positive going into this but in my mind this whole time, I have given a time frame of how long I could make it.<p>Time's up. I think that if she asks for more time and won't commit to coming home that I will give her the Plan B letter I have sealed, in case it ever came to that. I don't want to have to do that because of the ramifications, but I can't take this any more. If I wanted celibacy I'd have gone into the seminary. I want someone to appreciate me, give me attention and take care of my needs. I hope that person is her. If it's not, I'll find someone that will (though not an A).<p>Comments, thoughts, suggestions are needed. She shows good signs, but waffling isn't one of them. <p>God bless,<p>Guido [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi G,<p>Well acceptance is important. You sound more resolute now than before. We all have our limits and tolerance levels. Even with the WS. <p>So your actions are not to be judged. I certainly understand reaching my limits and levels. Once the shock and the trying my best has been done then, I am now at my settling point. Ready to move forward regardless. <p>This is important because even if the WS comes home, these feelings will still remain. In fact it could even make those feelings stronger. <p>So keep reading. The his needs/her needs book right now may be helpful. <p>Take Care,
L.

guido,<p>If I wanted celibacy I'd have gone into the seminary. I want someone to appreciate me, give me attention and take care of my needs. I hope that person is her. If it's not, I'll find someone that will (though not an A).
You are ready to move on, same thing w/ me. It is easier to work on plan A since nothing could bother us anymore.<p>Take it until 90 days is up. No more !, you are not the one who put up the deadline. Surprised her by not asking and watch her reaction. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] Let her open the conversation rather than you.<p>Stay w/ no LB ...