My wife has filed for divorce. Since also filed back in 1996 and it was never dismissed, that one is on record and in Calif. you have to wait 6 months. Well, since that one was never dismissed, we have already done our 6 months. Now it is just a matter of time until it is final. I still have to see my attorney and there will be modifications to the agreement of 6 years ago. But my wife is excited because in April we can be divorced....April just so happens to be our wedding anniversary month. She said "I can't help the fact that it just so happens to be the same month....sorry". <p>The thing I have noticed is that she said she called it off with the OM this past Monday (I didn't ask her to and it was a surprise to me). Since that time, we have spent a lot of time talking (after the kids are in bed). She sleeps in one room and I sleep in our former room. She allows me to be in heer room and talk. She allows me to sit on the edge of her bed and just listen (which I don't mind). She also allows me to massage her feet and her hands and her back. It is very beautiful and special. I ask her if she minds and she says "No, that is fine" and some times she asks me not to stop. There is no SEX or anything, but just touching (on my part only). I don't rub any of her body that might make her uncomfortable, just her feet, hands, back and legs. She is always clothed also. <p>Well, I found out that she has been talking to her friend (female) about how I have been acting. The was it sounds is like she is saying "Yeah, I have got him where I want him, I know he still wants me" the "he" being me.<p>I don't mind doing what I am doing, but I don't want to send her mixed messages like my purpose of doing all this is to "win" her back. My sole purpose is because we have "us" time without kids screaming etc. <p>My question is: Is this part of Plan A and shoudl I continue with it? and if I do, what guidelines should I lay down of my intentions?<p>Thanks in advance

defcon888,<p>Welcome to the world of snooping, it drained your LB$ in no time .... hang in tough !!!. Plan A is a doormat and plan A is enabling, if you don't feel that way you are doing something wrong [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] . You do not want to upset WS until you are ready. However plan A has a very narrow purpose ... you ... making you a better choice. So no LB and fix all the issues with M that is your part. Show all the changes that becomes a habit, until then you have to live with it if you want to save your M.<p>You are married to a Venusian ... you might want to pull back a bit and let her comes to you. Read divorce buster/remedy ... take a few steps that you could use.<p>Also you have to go out like a single, behave like a single but NOT LOOKING. Could you do that ?. Go out to see night movies, hang out w/ freinds in the bar, go out to dinner w/ freinds ... I says freinds ... no female and no one on one, that is no date. Change your look, change your hair, change your schedules ... see what she has to say. However you still doing what you are doing now and even try to test the water once in a while and see if she allows you. If she want to go then cancel your "going out" and have a date with her instead. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . Be a martians !!!, I love you to death if you allows me but don't own me. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]