A few days a go I was estatic that things were going better.. h was trying to break off with ow, in fact had.. but conta ct has resumeed... I have not yet had time to do good plan a... but find when he waffles and goes to her, and then to me, even sexually with me- then slamming door in my face, getting angry at me... we went to dinenr last night and I cried, so he got very angry and took me to my car and order ed me home.. these were silent tears of sadness, hyes, I had some wine... so this was lb... today he says maybe he is gorwing apart with me since they are looking better... they talked this week is all I know... she is married and is not breaking off with her h, but my h is hopeful she will... says the way they feel about each other he thingks they will be togehter.. this was today he sd this on the pohone... I hung up... some advie on gen questions told me I should just start tough love james dobson approad... I am fearful now... on the phone tonight I told him... if you do not stop all contact, I cannot work on marriage... well, I guess that is true... he says oh, we can still go to dinner, still have sex, I say no, we cant talk or dinner, or anything... oh he says come on... meet my emoitional needs, ok let her do the sex ones... he is torturing me... I hnag up on him... gbasically I want no contact, but I know demeanding that is selfish, he considers me the reason he left/// I think more plan a is in order, but more distance for now... and no more sex until no contact is reestablished, right, OK, advise please! thanks so much, sorry I am having bad day, sorry about typos...

honey,<p>I followed most of your recent link and let my try to give you my 2¢.<p>Only use plan B when you are absolutly sure that either you run out of LB$ and starts resenting H in a big time or if you are sure that you have done all you could do in plan A. While in plan A, filling EN is optional but you know if you don't EN will be fill by someone else. You could reject filling EN if you know that H received it in the past and happy about it. You could find a word (fogese) that just explain the fact and leave it there. For SF you could tell H honestly that you are not comfortable with it, no demand and no judgment. Just tell H that you don't want to do it at this point in the relation.<p>Avoid LB ...<p>IMHO, you should learn from CarolKH, a Venusian lady. It worked for a WH. Avoid using tough love, use plan A (no LB) then plan B instead.<p>Good luck.