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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 8
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 8 |
Need help trying to decide what to do. After DDay of 4 months, three weeks no contact, H still can't decide if marriage/no marriage and can't/won't committ to rebuilding until he has made his DECISION. He is trying to meet my EN; makes love to me; using marriage as safe haven while business is unsure; I don't know if I should tell him to move out or try to hang in here. Any words of advice out there? Would separation help to decide one way or the other???
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 411
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 411 |
I am separated without choice. And your question is one that I think should be answered by you and h. If your m means all the world to you, than by all means do what ever you can to keep that man home. There will be hard times with him there - but if you want to rebuild it's best done, w/ him close by. How long have you been plan Aing? They say 6mths to a year for plan A. Actually going on to separation would be considered plan B. If you haven't already, visit the EN postings, and see how hard it is sometimes to work on things from different living quaters. I believe venue makes a world of difference.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 789
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Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 789 |
I think it's too soon to decide. Your husband is probably still in withdrawal. It can last 6 weeks or more from time of last contact. For months after last contact my husband was unable to really give until he came out of withdrawal. Are there children involved? A psychologist told me, when my husband was planning to move out, that the damage from separation could never be undone even if we reconciled eventually. I am glad we didn't go that way because it would have been devastating and nervewracking for my children.
Are you doing marriage counseling? I recommend the Harleys.
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