I found out about my wifes affair in December. The details are that she was online with my best friend having conversation of a sexual nature that happened for over a year with out my knowledge thats number one number 2 is that she met a man through my kids daycare they started exchanging e-mails and met once she claims they only kissed I have read the e-mails and I believe this. number 3 was she went to her company christmas party and ended up in bed with a man she worked with. I found out about this because she was out all night. I pushed her until she admitted it. The problem I am having is that i am very confused about a lot of things. We commited to going to therapy and have talked a great deal about what has happened and what lead to it. I was not meeting her emotional needs. I now make every effort to do that. But things keep comming up that contradict the reasons she said led to these affairs. For istance she claimed I did not talk with her enough. So I have changed that behavior but it feels like I am pulling teath to get her to participate. I feel like everything she has said to me even to this date has all been lies. She actually said to me the other night in a conversation "maybe I dont have it to give" in regards to my emotional needs. Bottom line is as babble on here that I dont know what is real and what is not anymore does she have love for all of these questions keep comming up for me with no real answers. Last thing is being a very visual person that I am the things that come into my head drive me crazy the thoughts and pictures I just wish i could reach in and rank them out. Do these feelings ever go away? The other thing that bothers me is it seems that I am the only one who makes in effort to try and save this marriage. By going out and getting counseling and bringing her to this site for information. She says she wants to make this work but does she really? Look at all of the second guessing.

Hi G,<p>Sorry to hear of all this confusion. You are rightly confused. There is babble there. Take this post and put it on the General Questions II board. You may get more responses. <p>There are several H's in similar situations. <p>Take Care,
L.