Hello all,<p>First I wanted to say how happy I am to find this site. I need some hope.<p>My W started a friendship on the internet with OM who lives in England (We are in Canada). This has gone on for 3 years and until recently I didn't know it became an "emotional Affair". In October he came out to see her. She said for me not to worry that it was something she had to do. I was worried and, as I found out, rightfully so. I asked my W if she slept with OM and she said she did. I was devastated. We talked and she said she has a deep emotional attachment to him. I have tried over the last few months to win her back to me by being better at the things she said I didn't do for her emotionally. I have been so good. Doing all the little things that count including going to counselling with her and alone. I have asked her to end contact with him and she has tried but she keeps going back. I have seen her many emails to him and she is always saying she loves him and misses him etc. The emails also include lots of cybersex. He is also married with two kids. I do not know if HW knows about his affair. I am emotionally exhausted and cannot continue like this. We have lived apart over this for several months but we have never gone more than 48 hrs without some sort of contact. We have a great sex life so that is not a problem. She says she loves me and loves to be with me. I don't understand how she can say this and still keep her internet affair going. 2 weeks ago I told her that I cannot do this anymore and that I didn't want contact with her until she sorts out her stuff. It has been very hard. I miss her terribly. To my delight she sent me a "I miss you" card after 4 days. I did reply with one to her but we have not talked or seen each other. Now, 4 days later she sent me a card that says "She is thinking of me and that it seems to be along time since we were together. What does that mean?" I don't know what it means.. I wanted to call but am sticking by my guns. I did, however, get some flowers and drive to her place and put the flowers on the seat of her car so she will find them in the morning. So like I said...I am sort of doing the Plan B thing. There is plenty more to this story...I hope one of you would be interested in hearing the whole thing.

I am interested in hearing the whole thing and I am sure many other people are too. I am dealing with this crap too except my husband isn't at all emotionally attached. <p>Did you do Plan A? Keep strong b/c things will work out in the end.

I,too, have been interested in hearing the whole story, and I emphathize with you. I am amazed how much you have been doing on your own that is right along with Dr. Harley's principles, which really do seem to work. This forum should bring you a lot of comfort and guidance. Be sure you are taking care of yourself, doing all the positive things for yourself that you need to do. In a real Plan B mode, you would make absolutely no contact with your spouse until she is ready to rejoin you with the conditions you set (no contact with the British man). Looks like things are moving that way (she is missing you) but remember, too, that Dr. Harley explained that an affair has to live itself out. You will have to be patient, which you appear to be. I know this is tough, you really have to believe in yourself, that you can be the spouse your wife wants/needs you to be and that your marriage can overcome this sad episode.<p>I wish you good luck, resolve and peace inside.

<small>[ February 11, 2005, 06:07 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>