I'm going crazy!!! Every little thing is bringing up all these insane feelings. I'm acting like a lunatic. <p>At the viewing yesterday (friend passed away) I knew OW mother had sent a desert. H took some and I went nuts!! He claims that he didn't know it was from her, but I said "Yeah right, did the slut tell you to make sure you tried it and let her know how it was??" He looked at me like I was a martian!! I was acting like a lunatic..<p>I'm getting upset over so many little stupid things and I can't seem to stop....too many triggers, emotional "time of month", funeral, possiblity of seeing her, seeing her aunt at the funeral, etc, etc......I'm acting like a nut!!<p>He's being so sensitive and understanding but I know it's causing LB's all over. I can see it in his face and hear it in his voice. <p>HELP!!!!<p>He's even taking off early to be with me and go to the funeral today...<p>And I can think about is : Is he still seeing and calling her like she's telling other people??? Is she a liar (oh there would be surpirse!) or is he (like he hasn't been for the last year and half?) I'm losing it...........<p>I hate all this and I know that he is going to get sick of it and just leave because he doesnt see it ever working out.....<p> [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Okay Marie,<p>Post on In Recovery or GQII and the bunch of us are going to talk you through this. Okay?<p>First, breathe. Now, breathe again. Then, take another very deep breath.<p>Listen to us. You are NOT a lunatic. You are hurt, you are sad, you are struggling with yet another loss when you are still reeling from the losses associated to your H's A. It is no wonder you feel out of control. It is completely understandable, and we have all been there - every single one of us. Truly.<p>Okay now for some work - repeat after me: I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. Then repeat the following: I WILL SURVIVE THIS. I WILL SURVIVE THIS. I WILL SURVIVE THIS.<p>Keep repeating this to yourself, again and again. All you need to do is get through today. That is all. So, don't bite off any more than that. Don't think about tomorrow or the next day or whether 'it will ever work'. Just get through today. Put on foot in front of the other and a smile on your face (or a reasonable facsimile).<p>And keep repeating the above. If you do it enough and keep doing it, I promise that all that 'negative talk' playing through your mind will be drowned out and you will be okay.<p>Hugs,<p>OneDay