Just wanted to post a Plan A update that is somewhat positive for a change.<p>In week 7 of recovery/discovery and working hard on Plan A, have gotton lots of really good advice from all of you, many thanks to Redhat and BrambleRose for your support and encouragement. <p>Been filling my time with more reading and re reading, WW has agreed to speak with SH, which seems like a pretty step at this point, at least some positive sign, went to pick up S and noticed that WW was wearing her wedding band on her thumb! makes me wonder whats going on, she got in to help me fix S's car seat, not normally something she would do, seemed like maybe she wanted to make sure I saw it. <p>Thats really about all, just wanted to share some hope for the insanity that we all have felt trying to Plan A with out much sign of success. It seems to be working!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

StillStanding,<p>I like your old screen name ... [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] LOL !!!. I am glad that she is moving toward you, you should let her know how much it means to you and thanks her for it.<p>Yes, it helps my sanity while my WW still out there and no contact since last Thursday. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] . You are in a good hand w/ SH.

How funny you should say that I should thank her, I would rather thank you! I dont want her to think that I think I know what she is thinking!
Not to mention she has made no attempt at trying to contact me, but thats ok, I am starting to enjoy my "quiet time" I seem to get alot more done. <p>Sorry to hear about your WW, seemed like the tide was about to turn once you went to see OM, and you didn't fight or exchange negativities, I think he would have considered telling her that she should talk to you, or at least feel somewhat guilty, if that is possible, but I am only a BS, I dont approve of manipulation in any form, esp an out side source, even more so now that I am practicing MB principals.<p>I really am not sure that I am ready to take her back right now, but she is not asking me to, so I will burn that bridge when I cross it. I have much more homework to do before I can feel confident that I am going to be able to handle the fall out from this whole ordeal. Just taking it one day at a time.<p>SH really is a great guy and so helpful, I know I feel much better about my situation after our sessions. Makes life much easier to deal w/ being able to tap into his mind.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by StillStanding:
<strong>How funny you should say that I should thank her, I would rather thank you! I dont want her to think that I think I know what she is thinking!
Not to mention she has made no attempt at trying to contact me, but thats ok, I am starting to enjoy my "quiet time" I seem to get alot more done. </strong><hr></blockquote>
You have to give her credit where it is appropriate. Give her a positive encouragement and don't assume anything but look at their actions and match them w/ their words.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>Sorry to hear about your WW, seemed like the tide was about to turn once you went to see OM, and you didn't fight or exchange negativities, I think he would have considered telling her that she should talk to you, or at least feel somewhat guilty, if that is possible, but I am only a BS, I dont approve of manipulation in any form, esp an out side source, even more so now that I am practicing MB principals.</strong><hr></blockquote>
OM doesn't feel any guilt, probably the guilt is only for him knowing that I love my W and I will fight for it. He is macho, imature 47 yr/o boy. I met him not to manipulate him and I stoped it short when I felt want to crush his scull and rip his esteem apart. SH helped me by giving me guide lines.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>I really am not sure that I am ready to take her back right now, but she is not asking me to, so I will burn that bridge when I cross it. I have much more homework to do before I can feel confident that I am going to be able to handle the fall out from this whole ordeal. Just taking it one day at a time.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Good, you are starting in acceptance mode and working on the positive thing forward. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] Make sure she knows that the door is always unlock and she needs to make effort to open it up. Funny thing that a few months ago I would not say no and be glad if she wants SF. Now I am sure I will say no ... I would not share my body while A is going on. The scars getting deeper and I would not settle for less.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>SH really is a great guy and so helpful, I know I feel much better about my situation after our sessions. Makes life much easier to deal w/ being able to tap into his mind.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Yeap ... I did weekly session in the first few week then I am slowing down as I am better now. He wants me to schedule it monthly or if there is a new development.