Hey Guys<p>Got a call from ww Sat she and Stepson came home to go for a ride (horseback) she the stayes for a bit complaining about the OM and his family. She said things are stressed and she is depressed.
She apparently read one of his Emails to an ex w
stateing that "if shes still here in 7 years I will boot Her A** out." Well she confronted him about it and he said he was just kidding HAHA
I feel honored that she came to me with this but what do I do now? She has gotten into some a things I detest Smoking etc. I know some feel its nothing but its a major LB for me. The affair I could forgive with some major honesty factored in and I m confused as whats next. She said she might come back Tuesday any advise.

TH,<p>The answer is: nothing. It could be a momentary clearing of the fog, it could be the beginning of a permenant clearing of the fog. But, so far you just keep doing what you are doing.<p>When you said she might come back Tuesday, I presume just for a visit, right? Just listen to her, don't try to fix anything, and see what is going on. <p>God Bless,<p>JL

trailhorse,<p>a crack in A [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] ... JL is correct. Just listen ... listen ... listen and listen. Avoid saying anything negative even about OM. She could do that but not you not now and not yet. Bite your tounge ... ehmm, uh, I see those are the proper response. NO LB ... no I told you so .<p>RH

HI everyone<p>Well she didn't come over but I did get a chance to spend some time with Stepson we went sking well I did He snowboarded. We had a great time. then took him home. When I picked him up Ws asked me in while he got ready acted as normal nice but seemed happier today guess they made up. Still so hard my hart still does flips when i am around her I know Im far from over her just got my hopes up to Quick I guess. She hasn't signed the final stip on the divorce and I feel bad about asking what to do what to do? My emotions are doing cartwheels? [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

trailhorse,<p>Glad you have a good time. Yes, we are all in the 'coaster of our life ... hang in tough and hang in tight. Take it one day at a time ... even after she sign it there will be some time before it is finalized.<p>RH

Rh
thanks for replying So many people are telling me that I will be better off without her poeple who knew us both, even her brother says he gets a sick feeling around her now. As I said before All I see is a sick child And I have been told that I have a good heart and want to help everyone but I can't help her. She will only hurt me again. That I deserve better.Someone with the same values I have. I Know she is depressed and looking in the wrong places for happiness. OM HAs many problems that cause stress in there lives but it seems that she needs that to feel good about herself,As if it is easyer to focus on his problems intead of her own I was told that When someone needs to be the tallest person and they are only 5ft3 they suround themselves with 5 ft people. It was that way with us in the begining I guess I just north of homless so was she We teamed up and made a life built a buisness and just when it was starting to go well she finds him to "Save" and leaves.Now with no income lots of Dept Three Kids Three big dogs that fight she seems happy. the very type of things she complained about here. I just don't know if I should wait for the afair to end then pick up the peices. Or move on with my life focus on my kids and a better future instead of All my energy to rebuild somthing I cant't rebuild.

trailhorse,<p>You are the only one could decide ... do not make decision based on what others tell you. This is you life and she is your wife. If you look at my motto .. asnwer it for yourself about regret. I left my country w/ only $1000.00 to follow my W giving up business that I build. However I have no regret ... that was 14 years ago. My family back home (mom & brothers) could not have peace w/ themself with whatif. I snore every night and do not think about it.<p>My FIL & BIL even telling me to dump my WW and let her "learn" her lesson. My problem is if I Dv her I won't re-marry her ... against my believe. I love my W soo much more than she could realize or acknowledge but she is draining it up w/ her A right now. One day when it hits bottom, I will snap and never look back.<p>Hang in there and hang in tough, TH. You could see that A will not work for her ... hope you still be there when that happen to catch her.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>I just don't know if I should wait for the afair to end then pick up the peices. Or move on with my life focus on my kids and a better future instead of All my energy to rebuild somthing I cant't rebuild.</strong><hr></blockquote>
You could focus on your kids now and wait for A to die.

Hey Redhat
You sound Like you could use a pick me up too.Iwas told by someone who spent lots of money in councelers to look at the relationship she had with her father if she had or has issues with him they will have them with you. WW has never had a stable life "no pun intended" as soon as she had one she left to a unstable one. As if that is normal to her. Her best freind said it was my religion that was the obstical I was to goody goody for her.Not that I m that good I just try to be a good person. well she wants to party and play and be promicuois. I don't think that will change Its not the first time I am her third Husband and in along list of relationships. I just don't think she will ever change because she has no autority figure (GOD) to anwser to. She is just to selfish. Her mother is supporting what she is doing because of her jeolousy of Stepsons relationship with me.Just a wacked out family Her mother is the main reason WW is the way she is. I think I will allways be fighting ML. I am just going to be the best person I can be and be there I will for Stepson but WW will probably just move on to another guy after this one.Wish it were different but those seem to be the facts.Everyone is saying I deserve better Im starting to believe them.

trailhorse,
It is a rough day for me, leave me a bit shaken. Yes, we all are told that we should move on and blah blah blah. Thanks them for their concerned and don't listen to them about this. Reason ?, they have a good intention but you are the one that have to live with the consequences. Listen to your heart and commit to it.

Redhat
Sorry to hear you had a rough day Im not familiar enough with your situation to give any advice. I do know that you are wize in many ways. I get the jist that you are not native to US I feel sort of guilty that I don't know you better. Some times you have to be just a bit selfish in order to regain some strengh My friends are only looking out for my best intrest. I respect that. And you have to realize that the heart can be misleading. If you are running on empty stop and find a way to refuel. I turn to relying on God to show me which direction to go hard part is when that happens do we resist.

trailhorse,<p>Thanks, I am fine now ... I am pretty sure many surprises to come. How about yourself ?. Anything new ?.

hey redhat
Glad to hear you are feeling better
Yes got word that WW was part of the fact that OMs wife left 2 years ago Guess this thing goes futher back that I thought. Well it was soon after he came into the picture that this started down. I was told yesterday buy one of my customers that I am very marketable made me feel a bit better about myself.
WW wanted to bring Stepson over today to go riding. I told herthey r welcome if she stays too I won't be able to watch him alone.Don't think that OM likes her coming here [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . I told him once that if she can jump from my bed to his so fast she can jump again.