Could someone just set out in simple terms the best way to put a Plan A together and the best way to go about putting it into practice.<p>Wife has not had or having an affair an affair, but Plan As seem to be the only Plan talked about to address ENs. She won't complete an EN qstnr, so I need a method that relies on me only. (It would add pressure to her situation and she will close down further at the moment)<p>She has displayed many of the signs of an affair, but at this time I am working on the basis that her loss of love and desire are for other reasons. Pos some depression, low self esteem. No abuse, drink, drugs problems, who knows. <p>Thank you, AlanR.

AlanR,<p>I would suggest reading the MB article when one wants to save the marriage (or something like that)<p>Your W doesn't necessarily need to fill out the form for you to get started. Over the years you have probably heard her say things that she liked, and disliked. Don't discount anything, what is nothing to you, may be a big deal to her.
Plan a is an individual thing - have you read HNHN? and other MB books? I suggest reading as much as you can get your hands on. <p>You may want to read the book Surviving an Affair, just for reference. Here's a warning, only if you are ready to recieve information. I spent a long time in denial & it ultimately has hurt our R. I'm not saying your W is having an A, but what i'm suggesting is to take a look, and deal with it if it is an A. Otherwise there could be more A's if orginal issues not dealt with. (Experience here too as WS) <p>You may want to post some of the behaviors and things that your W does & says to get feedback. Thats not for everyone , but it has been a God send to many on this board.<p>You are in the right place. Hugs to you.<p>God Bless

Thank you.

Try the book "Relationship Rescue" by Dr. Phil McGraw (the Oprah guy). I have also read "surviving an Affair" nad found it to be helpful. The Dr. Phil books concentrates on you and fixing what you bring to the relationship. A real eyeopener. <p>
good luck

Alan,
In simple terms..Plan A is being the best person you can be. Loving, capable, affectionate, honest. It is operating your life with no LB's.
T

Thanks for the replies. I think my W has been in withdrawal too ong for any plan to work. But, I will try.<p>AlanR.