I just started plan B on Tuesday night and haven't said but a few words to WW since. I usually hug and kiss the kids, tell them I love them and walk out the door without saying anything to WW. I am concerned, though, that I don't know what to do when she tries to talk to me. What do I do when she says "hello or Good Morning" or "Have a good day at work"? I have been just ignoring it and walking away. If she thinks I am rude for ignoring her than will that drive her even further away from me and give her even more reason to not want me as husband? [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

Cordial is ok, Plan B is about protecting your love for your W. <p>You would be cordial to a stranger right? You need to keep a good example for your children. So be cordial to her. <p>Figure out what subjects you will allow yourself to discuss with her. For me it centered around, money, mail and our child. <p>I interacted with our child in front of my H as much as possible. I let him see that our child was open to communication about all subjects right by example. This reduced how many times he and OW tried to set me up as a bad parent. I removed that from the A balloon! <p>L.

MT,<p>It's very hard to do Plan B while living in the same house. Have you done Plan A? I'm doing a not so good Plan A right now until we move to Plan B the end of the month (when WH moves out).<p>I'm sorry I haven't followed your situation. If you are doing this with the intent on staying under the same roof then I would suggest being cordial and not ignore her (Plan A perhaps). I think ignoring her will, as you said, just push her away from you.<p>What is the intent of your Plan B? Do you have a time limit? What are you doing to heal yourself?<p>God Bless!<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

I mostly post in GQ II or Divorcing/Divorced but since this question was specifically about plan B, I thought I would try this forum.<p>I have done plan A for three months and see no change in WW. She continues to say she doesn't want to be married, that it's to late to reconcile, and that talking about A or what she is doing is off limits. I have done everything around the house and take care of the kids as much as I can. She sleeps at her parents house (10 minutes away) but comes back in the morning to take over kid duty so I can go to work. She is home in the afternoons when they get done with school as well. She teaches preschool and our youngest attends the school in afternoons.<p>It is difficult to do plan B, but I can't just sit back and let her just come and go whenever she wants while I am home with the kids. Should I? I felt that nothing had changed in three months. she has said that she is close to figuring out things and has told her mom she doesn't plan on being "other woman" to him much longer. Her actions however speak louder than her words. She continues to do what she wants to do but hasn't left us totally yet. I think she is waiting to see what he does (he is married too) and then make a decision on our family. She threatens me with divorce but hasn't filed yet. She won't totally move out either because she says her kids are here. I just don't know how to handle this anymore, so I wrote her a letter expressing my love to her and desire to fix my mistakes of the past. I told her I take responsibility for allowing our marriage to get to the point where her A was possible. I can't change the past but I can make a conscious effort in the future to put her needs first. But how do I get the opportunity to show her? Just wait it out?

Thanks for the information... I thought she was still living there full-time. I still recommend you be civil if she says hello or good morning. I wouldn't allow her to come and go as she pleases - just be there for the kids in the morning and then leave when you get home.<p>I don't envy your situation at all. My WH is still living in our home while he looks for an apartment. I think he's purposefully dragging his feet and it's getting me angry.<p>Have you set down the "house rules" with your wife until she decides if she wants the M or not? I think that's important.<p>Good luck!

I tried to have that discussion with her several months ago and have since asked her to write down what she wants during this seperation period. She has never written anything down so I don't know really what she wants. I wrote down my thoughts and gave them to her but it doesn't seem to make a difference. One of them was no phone calls from OM to our house. The very next night he called at 1 AM, drunk and asked her for a ride home. Being in Plan A, I told her she needed to do what she thought was right in order to work through this situation. I didn't approve and I hoped she would understand and not go. She went anyway and it still appears that she is determined to do whatever she wants, no matter how if affects me and our boys.