As of Monday I set up an e-mail account to update him on the kids to try to minimize the contact with him. He ended up setting one up for himself (with his old nickname from me). At first I started e-mailing him in hopes he would write stuff to me that I could send to her as well a little blurb on the kids. The last two days he is e-mailing me saying "i'm thinking of you right now - honey", "i love you beautiful", "give all three of you my love" "i dreamt of us" "can I come over after work tomorrow and see all of you". etc. etc. He has e-mailed me 7 times since Monday. all mushy and sweet.<p>Now, I think I made a huge mistake. This has given him another vehicle of contact with me. He's calling more this week (since sex on Thursday) and says he thinks of me all the time. Calls at night checking to see if I'm home, then e-mails me "why didn't you pick up or call me back". I know from the e-mails she sends him they are stil seeing/sleeping with each other.<p>he claimed on Monday she had an interview today with another firm, but when I asked him about it, he said she wouldn't talk about it, she knows the inevitable is coming. whatever the hell that means. Probably more BS to me to try to keep me happy.<p>Her e-mail last night concerns me. there is pressure to get an apt. together for April 1st. your kids will be long gone and you'll be stuck with a woman you don't love, She's asking why the stuff with the lawyers has stopped and also says "you won't have a second chance to fix things. maybe you should fix things before it's too late because we only go through life once". this statement obviously has to be about her. My Dad says to get him to move back in for april 1st, but I don't agree. the deal was no contact with her. Maybe the best thing for him is to get an apartment with her, the hotel is getting expensive.<p>What should I do? I'm sorry this is so long.<p>Do I tell him to stop calling me completely and set up some kind of visitation schedule for the kids and him, or keep up the i don't care attitude which he seems to be atracted too and continue to talk to him. Even tonight he said he can't stop thinking about my legs (totally pig and oh so shallow) and he likes all the changes in me (independent, confident).<p>I hate this game. I wish there was a book telling me what I should/shouldn't be doing.<p>Does anyone know what the next two weeks will hold? I'm on anti-depressants, my Mother is back in the hospital (complications from surgery), I just found out the babysitter is taking estasy and is bi-sexual and my best friend is having a personal crisis (who I just confided in on the weekend now can't help me).<p>HELP! Do I stop all contact with me? do I stop being nice, returning calls etc.?

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hopefulandsad:
<strong>HELP! Do I stop all contact with me? do I stop being nice, returning calls etc.?</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Good morning,<p>I'm so sorry for your situation - you have a lot going on with your marriage and extended family and friends!<p>My suggestion is to stop all contact with him and the OW. The purpose of Plan B is to regain your sense of self and limit the contact so you don't lose love for the WS.<p>If his emails don't ask about the kids specifically I wouldn't respond. You need to remind him of the rules - no contact while OW is in the picture. Give him another copy of your Plan B letter.<p>Can you arrange for someone else to be at the house when he picks up the kids?<p>Don't allow yourself to be sucked into his games! Ignore his emails and if he calls and asks why you didn't return his call simply tell him he needs to respect your wishes of no contact until OW is out of the picture. Tell him when she is out of the picture you will discuss the marriage.<p>I know this is hard for you right now with your sitter problems and your mom back in the hospital. Are you going to counseling? Have you read the book Boundaries In Marriage? I haven't read it, but have read Boundaries by the same authors. I have heard wonderful things about Boundaries In Marriage. Also, visit the authors web site www.cloudtownsend.com<p>Take this time to heal yourself - Plan B has nothing to do with your H - it has everything to do with you!<p>Recover ~ Refocus ~ Regenerate ** Breathe ~ Relax!<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ March 21, 2002: Message edited by: Free2BMe ]</p>