After almost 3 months of living with OW, H came to me last night and said he thinks he wants to try it again with us. He was saying all the things I wanted him to say for months, like, "This wasn't love, it was just a game." "I didn't know what love was until I didn't have you." "I have made a horrible mistake.", etc. Now, here is the question. Do I entertain the idea of taking him back. Yes it is what I have wanted but how do I get past the hurt and trust him again? How can he quit his job (OW is coworker) and move bcak in with me? I am more confused now than ever. Please help!<P>------------------<BR>Rachel :)<BR>

camarinick,<BR>I would think that it will take a whole bunch of work on both parts but if it has been what you want don't give up now. If he is serious you now will have alot of the perceived control, don't abuse it. The temptation you will have is to get back at him or simply not want him back period. I suggest reading or re-reading Surviving an Affair and also Tough Love by Dr. Dobson.<BR>Keep your dignity and a level head, remember feelings are temporal so concentrate on the long term and know that he will probably go back and forth on his decision, be prepared for that.<BR>Take care and good luck....<BR>Michael

Excellent news. I'm happy for you! <BR>Boy this is rough. You get what you want & it screws you up.<P>If you want him back, then you should let him know. But he should agree to some terms.<BR>1 - Marriage Counseling. I recommend Steve Harley (1-888-639-1639) (beat you to it K )<BR>2 - No contact with OW (or at least no non-work related contact for now)<BR>3 - Complete honesty. <P>First off, don't expect too much to begin with. You both have a lot to deal with. Also, expect him to have some resentment & maybe get ticked off a bit in the beginning. This is where your no LoveBuster techniques come into play.<P>You can regain the trust and work through the pain if you both are willing to do the hard work necessary.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

HI Rachel,<BR> If you do want him back DO IT....with conditions as everyone else says. It will be tough (am doing it now) but you have a really good shot of being happy. That is great that he is saying the things that he is saying! Btw, I thought you were in the middle of divorce proceedings, are you? Lu

Rachel,<P>That's Wonderful News!! I'm glad he has finally pulled his head out... .<P>It is a tremendous amount of work to rebuild, and I agree w/ Chris about the conditions. Counseling is a MUST. <P>I will keep you, your H & kids in my prayers... I truly hope that this works out for you.<P>B<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

Yes, we were all set to schedule a court date. We had agreed on visitation, child support, etc. Just when I thought I knew what was coming...... <P>------------------<BR>Rachel :)<BR>

Rachel,<P>This is great. Just make sure you both fully understand the "game rules" surrounding his home coming BEFORE he comes home. If he is still living with OW, I would want him out of there as soon as possible, but make sure he understands the terms of coming back.<P>Rebuilding trust is not an easy thing to do, but it can be done. This is what you've been wanting - you've got it! I'm sure it just comes along with not being sure you are making the right decision. But with hard work from BOTH of you, you can have a GOOD, probably even BETTER marriage.<P>I am so happy for you and your 3 little angels!

Cam-<BR>You sounded so adament in the beginning that it was over. Don't go into this half heartedly, give it all you got this time. Find out what makes your relationship work, and do it. Or, it will be a matter of time until someone else comes along and you have to repeat this process!<BR>Good Luck!

Rachel,<P>You can do this. You can get over the hurt and trust again. Remember he made a huge mistake. We all make mistakes. You both need to work hard, go to counseling. If you love each other and want to be a family you can do anything. Time and patience heals.<P>I trust my husband and the hurt over the affair doesn't overwhelm me like it did in the past. What hurts is the fact that he says he doesn't feel like a husband should towards a wife and is moving next week into an apartment. But I do trust him and I forgive him for the affair. I just hope I can forgive him for what he is going to do to our children next week when he moves out for the third time.