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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 126
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I Spy Offline OP
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I have read the Q&A section on Plan A/B, but still don't understand. I get the impression that Plan A is separating the WS from OP and doing so without any negativity. And Plan B is separation of BS and WS without emotion.<p>Is this correct?

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No, it's not that at all.<p>Go to this post to see the explanations given to Mr. Hurt on the Emotional Needs forum recently:<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=34&t=006003<p>Read all the replys to Mr. Hurt and go to all the links, OK?<p>WAT

Joined: Mar 2002
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I Spy Offline OP
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Is it possible to Plan A while separated? W and I have spoken a few times about "ME" moving to an apartment. Came close this week. I am trying to Plan A my hardest, but don't think I am very successful. I have mixed emotions about moving out. Feel that I would be giving up. Also concerned about my Diabetes Control...low bloodsugars. W says she thinks it would be a good idea for me to move until we can both sort through our issues. I will be giving up our house, our kids, our pet, our everything because she had an affair. <p>Should I move or stay and can Plan A still work when separated? What is the difference between this and Plan B?

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I Spy,<p>Never leave your house ... let her move out !. She has A and you reward her by giving up your life and support her ?. Many of us here doing plan A from far, yes, check this link. or this one.<p>Good luck. -RH-

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I Spy Offline OP
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RH: My situation is unique. We live in a historic house handed down many generations of her family to her. The kids must remain with her as well, as much as I don't like that, but my health issues will not permit me to take them. I would like for the kids to remain with the house and I want them to be safe.

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NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!!!!!!!<p>redhat and I are gonna slap you around some.<p>DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE!!!!!<p>DO NOT accept that bull**** about "sorting out our issues."<p>That's fogeese for, "I want you gone so I can have you out of the way from my one true love of my life in the whole universe that I will just DIE if I don't have RIGHT NOW!!!!!"<p>For now, this is what you should say to her: "You may leave if you feel you must, but I'm staying here in our home with our children."<p>We'll get to Plan B later.<p>Do you understand Plan A better?<p>WAT

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I Spy Offline OP
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WAT: Thanks, that is what I need. Someone to slap me around a bit. Sometimes I don't learn so quickly. <p>Anyway, that is what I decided to do. I changed my mind and I am not leaving unless I am forced to. Things are not improving right now. She has halted all sex, I love you talk and any other form of positive affections. OM is definitely still in the picture. Cell history wiped clean every night. Today, I had lunch at the restarant she was supposed have eaten at. When I said I ate there, she said she sent someone else there to get something for her. FOG.<p>Thanks for your direct response. I need that.

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Good job - you cannot be forced to leave your home or your children.<p>Get smart on Plan A and go to work.<p>WAT


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