C
I understand that your biggest need right now is to be happy & as you know I am willing to do whatever it would take to correct the mistakes we have made in the past.<p>I apologise for my part in creating the environment that helped make the affair with M & your special friendship with S possible.<p>Although I have always loved you & always will I also made you feel that EVERYTHIG else was more important to me than you were, it never was my intention but that was how I made you feel.
I said & did many things in anger & demanded answers that you couldn&#8217;t give me I wish I never did them but I also know I can&#8217;t take them back. If I had known what I know now it would never have happened, when I felt hurt I would hurt you right back & that was wrong of me. I am working on that part of my personality.<p>I have tried my best to express my love for you & my wish to have you as my husband again, I could try to hold on & make a further nuisance of myself but I love you too much to cause you anymore pain than I already have. I just need you to know how much I still love you & how sorry I am for the mistakes I have made. We should always learn from our mistakes BUT unfortunately sometimes the cost can be high.<p>I want for us to be able to rebuild our marriage someday to be able to meet each other&#8217;s needs & avoid hurt; I want to be your wife, lover & your friend.<p>We are shortly to separate & I want to protect the love that I have for you, so I ask that you respect my decision to separate from you with no contact except in an emergency & if such a situation arises you can pass on a message thru my friend A.
I am not doing this to punish you by having no contact I want to protect the love that I have for you & I need to protect my feelings so I need us to separate as soon as it becomes possible. It has been a big strain on us both living like this these last few weeks.<p>I do not know what the future holds for us I just need you to know that I love you C & that I know how much I have hurt you in the past & never want you to feel that way again.
When we married in front of our family & friends & I said for better or worse I meant every single word.<p>I would like us to one day build a new lifestyle together to be there for each other I have always had love, respect & admiration for you although it often didn&#8217;t seem that way in fact a lot of times it probably looked quite the opposite as because I was hurting so much I didn&#8217;t know which way was up anymore.<p>I know we can&#8217;t &#8220;live together&#8221; the way things are which is why we need to separate at this time.
I have tried unsuccessfully to carry the heavy burden of grief, anger & hurt for yrs now without properly dealing with it & unfortunately when it surfaced again it was twice as bad & just got worse for me each time.<p>We all have basic needs; unfortunately for us we never took the time to find out & therefore never knew what each other&#8217;s needs were.<p>I am giving you this letter wanting you to know that I am dedicated to making this be a marriage we both want to be in & could be proud of. I know that I can&#8217;t fight for our marriage on my own & am too worn out living under these conditions to even try right now.<p>I am expressing all my love for you C & I hope that what I have said stays close by you in the coming months, but for now our marriage has to have an ending if it&#8217;s ever to have a beginning again. <p>I am leaving you with my wedding ring, It once was very special to me, but it really doesn&#8217;t belong to me at this time.<p>I will love you always darling

It's a good letter.<p>I would recommend that you remove the last 4 paragraphs... starting with "I am giving you...".<p>They appear to be conflicting/vasilating between..
1. wanting to save the marriage... and
2. chicking it all.<p>A Plan B letter clearly states...
You now still have enough love for your spouse...
...but that love is waning...
...and will in the very near term... diminish to the point of NO return. That's why I recommend no thoughts like... "I'll always love you"...
"I'll always love you..." is not Plan B.<p>Don't give the ring back to him...
...it is an immediate sign of surrender (of the marriage)... it's also not Plan B...<p>Plan B is a period of letting go...
...a gradual loss of love to the point of an empty love bank.<p>Consider adding in the "traditional" no contact-ing of you...
...until your spouse is willing to do the necessary steps to recover the marriage. Make those step of what is required... unambiguous.<p>A very good draft though...<p>Remember to put it aside for a week or so...
...and work on it again...
...unitl you are satisfied...with the content... and the intent... and as always... make sure there are no Love Busters in it.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Much love to you...
...you know you've haven't heard it lately...
...but you are loved!<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jim/NSR

Hey thanx Jim u r a star!

nawwwww...<p>I don't know why...
...I just can't sleep tonight...<p>...so my thoughts are with you!<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jim/NSR