Well, it's been five months and counting. Two weeks ago, WS moved out of apt with OW. Ws says he is ready for single life in his own apt. On Tuesday when he came to see kids, he kissed me goodbye. First time in 5 months, I don't know who was more surprised. <p>Now tonight I am even more confused. Tonight when he came to see the kids, I asked him to supper. We spent an hour talking and drinking wine. He then sat beside me in the den and talked for another hour. He played with my hair, touched my leg, and kissed me again. I asked him what was going on. He just smiled. <p>I need some advice. I want to tread lightly. He has yet to tell me it is over with OW. I know that he is not really seeing her. He does go to school with her two nights a week (in same class.) He has yet to talk about our marriage. It's like he wants to be physical without the commitment. I don't want to be a one night stand and then he goes back to his single life. Is now the time to push for marriage counseling? He says he is confused. (Midlife crisis). Help me out here. My plan A time frame is about to run out.

Hi Schurt...<p>Check out this thread... it might give you some ideas [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=014880<p>Cali

Hi SCHURT,<p>My marriage counselor suggested a book to read to me, it is called "When the One you love wants to leave" by Donald Harvey. The whole book is good, chapter 11 address your question though and has some good suggestions.

SCHURT,<p>Good to hear from you!
We are in pretty similar situations. <p>I have implemented a lot of the 180 suggestions from the CarolK thread that was linked above.<p>During a session with Steve Harley, I asked about SF, and here was his reply " If you feel comfortable with SF, then do it, if not, don't. Just don't use it as a manipulation. In other words don't say I'll have SF with you when you stop seeing OP...or similar expression."<p>My feelings ( I can only answer for myself) are that I don't feel comfortable right now because I don't feel connected. What would make me feel more connected? No contact with OW, calling Steve Harley & setting up a session (with goal to set up a plan for recovery that we both agree on) Also, it will take some good times together, him meeting my EN's, and not LB'ing.<p>It sounds like from your post that you are torn. That is understandable. I will pray for wisdom and guidence for you.<p>It sounds like things are going in a positive direction. The hard part is that things aren't always as they seem as we have seen so many times on these boards. (I'm not saying that in your case, just in general)<p>God Bless