I'll try to make this short - My H had an EA several yrs ago with someone from work. Had discussions re our marriage, etc., but he eventually ended up moving out for a while because he "didn't know what to do about his feelings for the OW". I was pregnant, he came home because he couldn't stay away. Over the 9 months the EA relationship dwindled - kept saying they were just friends and the feelings were one-sided, although they had continued contact. She initiated a lot of the outside of work contact. We then got past it, I forgave and forgot.<p>In November, 2001, this woman came back into our lives. First as my daughters sport coach and then she went to work where my H works. We discussed at length that he could not be "friends" with her again. He agreed, said he understood, we both had many sleepless nights trying to deal with it all. Within 4 weeks all I hard about was her. He started working 14 hour days and being miserable at home. It was exactly the same as when he was in the previous EA, only now he had an enlightened angry wife to deal with. We even got so far as to agree to separate (again!) so that he could figure out his feelings, and so that we could work out our problems. (Which he admits only surface when "she" is around...) <p>Well, now she no longer works there-tried to blame me for her being fired, but lives close, and he insists that they are only friends and he will continue the friendship indefinitely. Oh- and he tells me that she is gay, and that I have nothing to worry about. <p>I have settled in to Plan A just this weekend and I am trying hard with it. I plan on discussing it more with him tonight - specifically how his continued contact with her is a LB, and would like to know how I know how long to stay in Plan A? How do I know when it's not working?<p>Any suggestions/comments would be appreciated!
Sorry so long!
