Good morning,<p>The sadness of our separation is slowly seeping in. I was pretty busy with my boys this past week so I didn't really have down time to think about anything.<p>It's starting to hit me all that I'm loosing out on if we divorce (which I think is inevitable). I just can't get over the hump and come to terms with the fact that he's not the person I thought he was.<p>One minute I'm thinking I was just insecure and those women were truly just friends...<p>.. but then I hear the words of a couple of the women he told me you were divorced or he told me you moved out or he told me you were cheating on him.<p>Those words keep me grounded!<p>I was just getting comfortable around his family (as dysfunctional as it can be at times). <p>We were the perfect couple...<p>... but only on the outside looking in!<p>It breaks my heart that our dreams, my dreams I guess, have been shattered.<p>And I hate that, someday, I have to go through all the newness and square one of a relationship. I don't know if I want to go through that again.<p>I liked my comfortable old shoe living. I don't want to do the dating again. And yet, my WH has thrust me into that possibility.<p>And my lawn - it's knee deep about now and growing longer and faster with each rain drop!<p>~ sigh ~<p>I hate this! <img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" />

Free2BMe,<p>Have comfort in HIM and take refuge under HIS wing, knowing that our Father will never forsake us. I really hope MB will be still here 10 years from now ... I will look back and I would say I did my best and there as not anything more I could do. I know I will have my happiness and someone that will share my love and my best with beside me. I hope by then my W or exW could have her happiness too.<p>It is not relevant who was right who was wrong, the most important is how we move on. This 'coaster ride will end by then we should all get off from it.<p>{{{((((HUG)))}}}} -RH-

RH,<p>You always come through! Thank you for the kind words and for being on this board. Hey, when did they get that crying icon anyway? <p>~ sigh ~

Sometime last week. I am waiting for devilish icon ... I want to use it for snooping's vent [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . I am in "forced" plan B by my WW, it is difficult at the beginning but now I could fit my schedule and rearrange my activities around. I enjoy it for newly found time to spend w/ my 2 D. I might learn how to sew [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] ... my 2 D need outfit for competitions, my WW is very good at it if she finds time away from OM.<p>If your lawn is knee high ... time to get a timmer and get some exercise out there ... or pay some highschool kid to do it. This is plan B, WS/BS has to learn w/o each other. You owe it to yourself to pick up whatever left and make the best out of it. You might find it as a better choice than having the ole' M back. I do.<p>-RH-

Dear RH,<p>When you learn how to sew can you teach me? LOL My H had/has so many great qualities that he brought to our marriage - sewing being one of them. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I don't like borrowing from anyone and we always borrowed the neighbors lawn mower. I could either splurge for a new mower or suck it up and ask to borrow the neighbors.<p>I do enjoy having the house to myself most days. When my H and his kids were here I was out numbered by men 5-1. Now I have my pink bathroom back and the house arranged the way I like it.<p>Thanks again!<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]