Please, looking for some advice. Found out about W's A 3 months ago, she claims it is over. Trying to stay in Plan A. However, I recently hacked into her hotmail account, found out she is still contacting him, even though she claims she is not, and two friends are helping to facillitate communication. This is so distressing.
The question is should I confront her about this, or keep it quiet to gain more information? Will she totally lose it when she finds out about my investigative work, i.e. will revealing this be major LB?
From this it looks like she has arranged a meeting, not clear due to code words, but likely, should I confront even though not 100% positive? This life is killing me.

Fist, I am sorry for your pain. I understand exactly what you are going through. I'm just a month ahead of you in terms of discovery. From what people have responded to my similar past posts about LB/investigating/etc., you should not confront her if you are trying to stay in planA. It is a big LB for most WS (I found out the hard way) and accomplishes nothing for your plan A and does nothing to help end the A. Snoop if you need to so you can determine how are doing in plan A, but do not confront. The A dies on its' own and there is little you can do to hasten its end. Unfortunate and unfair and it makes you crazy to know they are still in contact. At some point, you will know when to go to plan B if this continues. Personally, I have decided to stop investigating for a while because it just made me plain nuts and dramatically increased the chances that I would LB. I will check in on the A in a few weeks and if it is still going strong, I will probably move to plan B per Jennifer Harley.<p>You might post on General QII as that forum tends to be more active/get more responses. I wish you the best. Stay strong.

Unsureheart is correct, first rule of snooping is never use the info against WS ... always know what do you want to do with the info, might be a really bad ones ... always know when to stop and when to start again.<p>Nothing you could do to stop her, just do nothing with this info to her ... but IMHO you should try to confirmed it. Someone here probably could give you advice on the acronym that your WS use. Post one or two acronym and see what help you could get.<p>Hang in there and vent in here ...-RH-

Hi, just some words of encouragement from another BS. I am just in the beginning stages of plan A, and have also wanted to keep investigating to see what contact my H has had with EA. After a counseling session with Dr Harley today, and then a mutual counseling session with a new therapist today I realize it is best for me to back off for now, and concentrate on myself and what I need to do to meet his EN. This is for sure the hardest thing to do in practice. You keep wanting to know what they are doing at all times. Good luck, keep posting.