I have been on this roller coaster ride a little over a year. My husband put a hold on the divorce to work on us. Hold for 30 days. What has he done to work on us moved ow and himself to a nicer apt. He's working hard on us. No he hasn't done anything for us. Today he told me we have a lot of problems to work out. I'm still waiting on him to tell me the problems. He just wont answer me. When I feel like giving up God always shows me a reason to hold on. God has a plan.

yes, God does have a plan. He just hasen't let you in on it yet. Be patient, it will come to you when you least expect it. Trust one who knows.

Thank you for your reply hurtone.

Brown: Let me ask you a few questions.. When did the affair begin, when was it discovered? Have you read Surviving an Affair yet? If you havent, please pick up a copy asap... <P>You need to be in what Dr. Harley calls plan A.. This book will also help you understand infidelity a bit better. I noticed you are new here.. This site will really help you a lot..<P>My H's affair lasted about a year.. For details read my post from a few days ago titled Another story of hope for everyone.. You will get a great idea of what I have been through, which I am sure is similar to you..<P>Please write back and provide your whole story so we can get a better understanding of what has happend and where you are at..<P>Meanwhile,, until you get your copy of SAA, there is a lot of information on this website from Dr. Harley about plan A and plan B.. Start out with the plan A reading, and see if that is where you need to be...<P>Affairs usually die a natural death, and it could be right around the corner for you sooner than you think.. You need to have a plan and make sure you are doing the right things in the meantime...<P>Harley states that affairs usually end 6 months to 2 years after discovery...<P>On the home page of this website, you can get to some of Dr. Harleys material on plan A etc.. <p>[This message has been edited by mickey65 (edited December 30, 1999).]

I felt like when I came to this site, the information and support received - was a divine direction from God. <P>I know the feeling of when you want to quit - some little nudging from upstairs keeps you going.<P>You will learn so much here.<P>Plan A, is so important for you at this point. Your husband is focusing on the "problems" of your relationship, because it helps justify the affair for him, and he can't see the "benefits" of your relationship because of affair. This, as Mickey leaned to in her post is typical.<P>All he can remember about your relationship is the problems. So, you are in a very difficult situation with him, especially if the OW and him are continuing this affair, or having contact.<P>But there are lots of successes in just your situation. In fact, the success rate can be unbelievably high. So, there is lots of hope.<P>First thing is to read everything you can on the opening pages of the MB site, and while you wait for your SAA book - do no complaining, demanding, whining, or any annoying behavior with your husband whenever you have contact. <P>I'm glad he's put the divorce on hold - that is a terrific sign. <P>Also, I would say that the most important thing right now, is to pray. It helps a lot to pray.<P>God bless you,<BR>TNT

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