C'mon Lion, hang tight and avoid that woman. I've read some advice that you've been giving to others lately. I think you need to reach deep inside of yourself and find just exactly what you need out of this. If you can hang on longer, then hang on as long as you can. If you're like me, my feelings seem to vary from day to day, so I just try to take it a day at a time. What's hard for me is that I need a plan so I know which direction to take my life. so, it's kinda hard sometimes when my plan doesn't always coincide with my feelings. I've been in plan B for 8 days now, and I think it's the best decision that I've made.<p>This really is tough, but we can make it through all this given time.

Hello thejohnsmith:<p>I hear you man, I am exactly like you copy to copy, It is so hard, my feelings, emotions and rational mind keeps fighting this blaze for 6 months... I wish there was a easier way to deal with this....<p>As you said as of now I feel I can hang on longer, but I dont know if that will change in an hour or so...<p>It is too tough.... I dont even know what I am hanging my self to. <p>This conflict of emotions and rational mind is driving me nuts.... This is all I do 24/7.....<p>thelion

You're hanging yourself to Hope and Love. What's your contingency plan?

Hi, Lion,
Just was wondering... do you think you will be able to trust women again, in general, after all you've been through?<p>I know for me, it will take me a long time to let another woman get ahold of my heart like my WW.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lyxa:
<strong>You're hanging yourself to Hope and Love. What's your contingency plan?</strong><hr></blockquote><p>I dont have one, I guess I better think about that.<p>Thank you for bringing up..<p>What do you think my cont.. plan should be ?<p>thelion

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by thejohnsmith:
<strong>Hi, Lion,
Just was wondering... do you think you will be able to trust women again, in general, after all you've been through?<p>I know for me, it will take me a long time to let another woman get ahold of my heart like my WW.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>I dont know ? I think it will take a long time but eventually we have to get over this and that is a decision I have to make, once I reach that conclusion there is no turning back, i am very stubborn and rigid, once i decide, thats it... I know myself that is the reason I am giving everything and working on this M.<p>Hang in there TJS...see u tomm..
thelion

Gentlemen, let's keep in mind that not all women take the route of infidelity to resolve their disatisfaction with their lives. And even with the women that do become unfaithful, there are many that are remorseful, truly love their H's and are eager to rebuild their M's.<p>But what I will concede is that we are no longer willing to give blind trust to any woman we love in the future. We are now much more aware of what are the signs that our women may be having an A and what our approach to it should be. And this a good thing because blind trust is nothing more than a denial of reality.

Hello TooMuchCoffeeMan:

You are right, it is good to hear from you.

I have a question ?
I am moving to my new house, My WW has lot of stuff which I want to pack and deliver to her apt. Is this an LB she will think I am done...

I could take it to my new home, but the longer I have her stuff It is so hard for me to let her GO...

I think once most of the material things are away I would be able to let her go...

What do you think, please advise MBers...

thelion
<strong>Gentlemen, let's keep in mind that not all women take the route of infidelity to resolve their disatisfaction with their lives. And even with the women that do become unfaithful, there are many that are remorseful, truly love their H's and are eager to rebuild their M's.

But what I will concede is that we are no longer willing to give blind trust to any woman we love in the future. We are now much more aware of what are the signs that our women may be having an A and what our approach to it should be. And this a good thing because blind trust is nothing more than a denial of reality.</strong>[/QUOTE]

Hi theLion-
For me, it was difficult when my WW moved all her things out. She left some of her clothes and a few boxes behind, which I eventually took to her just to get them out of my house. It did make me sad, but now she doesn't really have any reason to come over to my house, except to pick up the kids. I also took down all the pictures that i had of her, and gave most of them to her. I gave her all our wedding picture album, and anything that had to do with our M. I think that when I gave her all that, I didn't do it because i didn't want it, but rather so she can go through them and would hopefully be painful.

I am in the same boat with the WW's stuff guys!!!
I've got about five boxes of her stuff in the garage which inlcudes all of our pictures of our 8 years together. I don't plan on keeping any of it. I thought, like you john, of sending everything to her so she can feel remiss when looking at all the great times we had and what she lost.
Fortunately for me she has taken most of her stuff away and we were renting while living together. Our lease was up and I have moved out and sold almost all of "our" furniture. I am now staying with my parents in a new town looking for work and an apartment. I am thinking of travelling a little before settling down again.

Lion I would not take her stuff to the new house. Set it up as your own. If you need to leave your old place right away, then have her stuff sent to her or left at one of her relative's or friend's place. Back in November when my W took off, the first thing I did was take down all the pics and even some of the decorations that were bought during romantic holidays and put them in a drawer. I even moved the furniture around a little to make it look a little different. Staying here at my parents has been real good because there aren't reminders of her everywhere I turn.
If you have a garage or an extra room that you will not be using, you could leave her stuff in taped up boxes for a little while. As long as you are not looking at it.

Hi Lion.

I agree with tofu that you should try to find someone else to deliver the remaining items to her.

Don't expect that she'll break down when she sees the pictures of you and her during happier times. Some WS's are deep in the fog that they'll just burn them when they have them in their hands, while others will come out of the 'fog' for a brief remorseful cry and then go about their business as though nothing happened.

The purpose of returning all things relating to her is exactly like tofu said, to get rid of all the triggers that can sabotage your efforts to move forward with your life. The past is gone, never to return and if you are at a vulnerable time in your life, the possibility exists to get stuck in it.

Now the thing is how do you deal with the places that you and your W used to go to and that trigger memories of days gone by? Do you avoid them if possible and should you avoid them?