Cali,<p>I totally need your help. I messed things up so badly yesterday with my H. We went to a wedding and I had to much to drink. I ended up hitting my H. I know that is horrible but things turned for the worse when a relative told me a few things about my H and ow, when we were in the ladies room. I fought with my H on the way home in the car. <p>My H now doesn't want to try anymore. H said he is tired and things are never going to change. H is leaving after my sons b-day, which is in 2 weeks. What should I do???? <p>Lost

I grew up in my teen years w/ an abusive stepfather. My mother and stepfather had physical altercations all the time. This is a difficult and painful subject for me.<p>As there is no way for me to know if this has occurred before, and I am not a professional giving advice is something I am reticent to do.<p>1. Tell your H that you completely understand why he would no longer work on the marriage.<p>2. Do not try to influence him to change his mind and not move out.<p>3. Seek professional guidance to deal with your anger and helplessness.<p>You must work on your personal issues and show your H through actions your determination to be the best YOU you can be. No amount of talking or apologizing will do the trick. <p>Get your focus off your H and what you can do to get him to come back. Focus on YOU and what you need to be a better YOU.<p>btw. I have read many, many threads where this has happened. Sometimes people do desperate things. It is in not repeating the behavior and learning from it that is important. Don't 'beat' yourself up. It is not the end of the world.<p>Hugs,
Cali

Cali,<p>Thank you. I am really trying. I made my H a promise that I would no longer drink. H told me don't keep promises that I can't keep. But this one I do intend to keep. I don't drink everyday maybe once a month. But I should have known with all this going on, I was going to LB. <p>Believe me I am really really trying to get it together. I know I can do it. <p>My H said that it was alright. I tried to explain how I felt with out LB'ing, I did that enough on Saturday......... H said that he was going to leave in 2 weeks, so I have 2 weeks to try to Plan A my rearend off. H is acting distant and I am afraid that he may contact the ow, because of my stupidity. Let's see what happens.<p>I'll keep you posted. And that you again.<p>Lost