My H & I have been getting along rather well. Last night, we had a set back though but not about the OW. We are in the middle of Plan A/Plan B. I wanted to talk to him about somthing, but I knew that he would get upset. I don't want to push him away, but there have been things on my mind. <p>He is still paying the bills, but I guess I am a little jealous b/c in my mind, I think that he spent money on her or them. Now, I want my H to wine & dine me. I am starting to feel like he would do anything for any OW but is a tight wad when it comes to me. <p>Has anyone else ever felt like that?

I think it's natural to feel this way. Unfortunately, the WS gives their best to the OP sincethey don't have to deal with "life" and reality.<p>What was your H's response to this? Do you think you could have presented it to him differently? I know I always lack in my presentation (so to speak).<p>I can't imagine this would be the end of the world. Recover and refocus!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>How are you doing today?<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Free2bme,<p>Thanks for your response. I am doing well. My H thinks that I am exaggerating. In a nut shell, my H is cheap, and I know that he is not going to spend too much money on anyone. I don't want to think about the fact that he may have spent any money. It is petty, I know.<p>I had another wonderful weekend. I went to visit my H. He is stationed in another town, but comes home on his days off. This weekend, I went to him. It is like my H & I are connecting again. It feels a little like we are dating : ). My H worked all weekend, but I felt good just to be close to him. Spending the weekend there also made me feel better b/c I was able to see that he works hard ALL DAY LONG. <p>When he came back to his room after work, he joked "Did you put everything back?" He said, "After you finished tearing my room apart looking for things, did you put everything back in place?" I had to laugh b/c I thought about searching his room, but if trust is something we have to work on, I have to try to trust him. Thank God b/c I prayed for his help, I resisted the urge.<p>Thank you for your advise. I do have to refocus. I am going to concentrate on my marriage and not what he may have done with the OW.

Hi,<p>Glad to hear you are resisting the urge. It's so hard. I have to work on that as well. I pray most every day to resist the temptation. My H and I are also dating and reconnecting, yet I'm so fearful.<p>Congratulations on the good weekend - one step at a time!<p>May God bless your days and guide your ways!<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Okay, new wrinkle.<p>My H has a friend that I can't stand. It is a man but I also look at the OM like my H's partner in crime. When my H was stationed out of town, both he & his friend met & started seeing OW. My H & I have recommitted ourselves to our marriage, but this guy & his wife have been doing things like what happened in marriage for years. His wife cheats on him, he cheats on her. They seem to thrive on the excitement; "Different strokes for different folks." I can really do w/o the excitement.<p>Well, anyway, I went to visit my H at the base he is stationed at for Father's Day (June 15&16). My H & I went out of town this weekend. The man called my H's cell phone & asked him what he did for Fathers Day. My H told him that me & his son came to visit him. The guy made a comment like, "Are you sure that it was a good idea? Now, she'll try to pop in on you to see what you are doing." My H laughed it off & told his friend that he wasn't worried. I got upset with the comment.<p>I had told my H earlier that I felt his friend wanted he & I to have a messed up marriage like his, misery loves company. His friend, in my opinion, thinks that marriage is a game. My H agrees that his friend's marriage is really bad & ours is not that bad, yet. He doesn't want it to get to that point.<p>I told my H that he should stop hanging around that guy b/c he is a bad influence. My H says that I can't pick his friends. He said that he doesn't like some of my friends, but I still talk to them. Besides, he says, his friend is not the cause of his A. I agree, but still...I finally met this man & he could not look me in the eye. I never trust a person who can't do that.<p>My H has put distance b/w the two, they are now stationed on 2 different bases; THANK GOD!!! I just don't trust this guy. He is always trying to cause friction b/w my H & I. The guys wife & I used to talk, but she started telling her H what she & I discussed and her H would tell my H. When the guy brought it back to my H, he would make it 10 times worse than what I actually said.<p>My H would get upset & ask that I not talk to his friend's wife. At first I thought it was b/c he had something to hide. Besides, I needed someone to talk to & I thought that she could relate b/c she went through the same thing. Then he told me that the W would tell her H & her H would tell him. He said that I did not know about their marriage & that they have been going through the same thing for years. Thank God for Marriage Builders, now I can vent, ANONYMOUSLY.<p>Any thoughts? I haven't pushed my H to give up his friend b/c he doesn't make friend easily. I think this man is a user & up to no good. When he calls my H, my skin literally crawls