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H's father is dying, is this a good time to start Plan B?
#462654 06/15/02 07:56 AM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 65
M
MovingForward
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MovingForward
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M Offline
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 65
I have been doing Plan A for 1.5 years. I have tried 2X Plan B but gave in by being his friend and he comes for dinner some times. We still get into repeated discussions of what went wrong in our M but he doesnt want to come back. I have been seeing a councellor and had planned a Plan B but just found out H'father is dying of cancer. My H is gone for 5 days to be with his F, would this be a good time to start Plan B?<p>Before he left he came over to my house crying and I prayed for him but he preferred to be with his girlfriend for comforting. Any suggestions, please help?
Re: H's father is dying, is this a good time to start Plan B?
#462655 06/15/02 07:53 PM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 966
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J.R. Offline
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J.R.
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Wow! 1.5 years of Plan A is a long time, needless to say!<p>Personally, if it were me... I might hold off on Plan B right now... right now, your WH is going through a hard time, and having Plan B being added to his plate isn't likely going to be of any benefit to you.<p>It does sound like you're mentally prepared for going to Plan B, however. I think if you give it just a little longer of a very, very good Plan A - then transition after he's had a chance to grieve a bit, and possibly feel like he can lean on you.<p>You can tell I'm big into ending Plan A on as high a note as is possible. It's not intended as manipulation - it's intended to be a final statement - by action - that you are worthy to be loved, honored and cherished!
Re: H's father is dying, is this a good time to start Plan B?
#462656 06/15/02 08:12 PM
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406
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NSR Offline
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NSR
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Posts: 5,406
I agree...<p>You've stuck it out for so long...
...stay with it... if the cancer in terminal... shortly.<p>If it is a new development...
...and the cancer may be long and drawn out...<p>...measure your love... if it is a "critical mass"...
...see if a permanent separation is something you can accept...
...and if so...
...do go to Plan B.<p>But if neither are the case...
...give Plan A a bit more time. That is love.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jim/NSR
Re: H's father is dying, is this a good time to start Plan B?
#462657 06/15/02 10:12 PM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 65
M
MovingForward
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MovingForward
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M Offline
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 65
Thanks J.R. and NSR.
It is so hard to know what the right thing to do. I think I will wait till he comes back to see his emotional condition but I am ready for Plan B. I noticed I am so much happier when he is away, and some how I can't heal when he is constantly in my life and talking to me. I will be strong this time.
Kim...

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