I need lot's of help. I am very confused right now about what to do. My wife left me for OM about 9 months ago. I have physical custody of my three kids. For the first four or five months she would keep telling me she was coming home and would set dates and then keep moving them forward. She rarely came home and saw me and the kids, maybe once or twice a month. The talk about coming home has now stopped. <p>Now things have just kind of been in a lull. I have told her that I plan on moving to the city she lives in, which is about 50 miles away to be closer to her and her family and my family so I can get some help with the kids. She is now coming to see us at least once a week. I believe I have been in a plan A for about three months. I have been living off unemployment for about six months. I am now trying to find employment but child care costs are going to about $1500 per month. Right now she is court ordered to pay me about $642 per month, but I think the only way she will help me with the child care is if I follow through with the legal separation and she would then be ordered to pay for half of the daycare once I become employed. I want to be employed when I do plan B, but it is very hard right now in the situation that I am in. She says she would quit her job and watch the kids if I got a job because of the daycare costs, but how could I do a plan B then?<p>WS is pregnant and due 08-25-2002. Father could be BS or OM.<p>My questions are:
Is it too soon to implement plan B when I do the legal separation? <p>The legal separation has been filed in the courts, I just need to let my attourney know when to have WS served with the papers.<p>Should I wait and do plan B until after the baby is born? Does this even matter.<p>Help?<p>BS
8 years married
9 years known
3 children in my custody(2,4, and 8)
Separated 9 months
known about affair 10 months
Plan A for about 3 months<p>
[img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi, <p>I answered your post on the JFO site. It is hard to keep up with you if you move to different sites. I recommend you take your very valid questions over to the General Questions II site and post this same post there. I have already alerted a few of the guys to check out your other post on JFO. Please respond to us with your thoughts so we can provide some support. <p>take care,
L.

Thanks for the response. I will move my questions over to the general questions because I could really use some advice. <p>To answer your question, I am not going to counseling now. I went for about two months after the separation occurred. I have thought about going back. <p>I generally feel pretty good, but I have been very stressed lately because of finances, possible move, and being with the kids 24/7 with no support. I am thinking about possibly going to the dr. and requestion some anti-depressants because it has been hard for me to concentrate and complete tasks lately with everything on my plate.<p>thanks
r.

When you find work, does your county have daycare assistance? Do you qualify? Some are hesitant to request assistance from the couty, but if it helps to ease some of the financial burden and stress.<p>I don't have much else to offer in way of advice.