Okay, new wrinkle.<p>My H has a friend that I can't stand. It is a man but I also look at the OM like my H's partner in crime. When my H was stationed out of town, both he & his friend met & started seeing OW. My H & I have recommitted ourselves to our marriage, but this guy & his wife have been doing things like what happened in marriage for years. His wife cheats on him, he cheats on her. They seem to thrive on the excitement; "Different strokes for different folks." I can really do w/o the excitement.<p>Well, anyway, I went to visit my H at the base he is stationed at for Father's Day (June 15&16). My H & I went out of town this weekend. The man called my H's cell phone & asked him what he did for Fathers Day. My H told him that me & his son came to visit him. The guy made a comment like, "Are you sure that it was a good idea? Now, she'll try to pop in on you to see what you are doing." My H laughed it off & told his friend that he wasn't worried. I got upset with the comment.<p>I had told my H earlier that I felt his friend wanted he & I to have a messed up marriage like his, misery loves company. His friend, in my opinion, thinks that marriage is a game. My H agrees that his friend's marriage is really bad & ours is not that bad, yet. He doesn't want it to get to that point.<p>I told my H that he should stop hanging around that guy b/c he is a bad influence. My H says that I can't pick his friends. He said that he doesn't like some of my friends, but I still talk to them. Besides, he says, his friend is not the cause of his A. I agree, but still...I finally met this man & he could not look me in the eye. I never trust a person who can't do that.<p>My H has put distance b/w the two, they are now stationed on 2 different bases; THANK GOD!!! I just don't trust this guy. He is always trying to cause friction b/w my H & I. The guys wife & I used to talk, but she started telling her H what she & I discussed and her H would tell my H. When the guy brought it back to my H, he would make it 10 times worse than what I actually said.<p>My H would get upset & ask that I not talk to his friend's wife. At first I thought it was b/c he had something to hide. Besides, I needed someone to talk to & I thought that she could relate b/c she went through the same thing. Then he told me that the W would tell her H & her H would tell him. He said that I did not know about their marriage & that they have been going through the same thing for years. Thank God for Marriage Builders, now I can vent, ANONYMOUSLY.<p>Any thoughts? I haven't pushed my H to give up his friend b/c he doesn't make friend easily. I think this man is a user & up to no good. When he calls my H, my skin literally crawls<p>--------------------<p>Married 6 years.
D/D 4/02.
OW co-worker (stationed together out of town).
1 child-3 years old, 1 stepchild-8 years old.

Hi,<p>Well my 2 cents? You mentioned that they are now stationed separately so is their communication and friendship lessened? If so, you may already have your answer. Just keep your H busy so that this guy can't creep back into your lives. <p>Funny observation...... this guy maybe 'jealous' our your relationship and this is his way of evening it out????? [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] Just a thought!<p>L.

Set back,<p>My H came home yesterday, he was in a good mood. On the way to the store, he mentioned that he was going back to work today...He then corrected himself & said, "Well, I won't be working but I am going back to the base." He said that he would not come back home...F.Y.I. My H comes home every week on his days off. W&Th are his days off this week. He works the weekend. The time that he comes home is very valuable to me. <p>I asked him why he was going back to the base & he said he had "something to take care of." Of course b/c of recent events, I was immediately doubtful. He picked up on my feelings & said that he did not want to drive back home, when he returned to the base b/c it was a long drive.<p>He then got really angry & told me that sometimes he "hated me." He said that he did not have to come back home at all & if he thought that I would argue, he would not have come home at all. He said that he could tell I was trying to figure out what he had to do at the base.<p>I did not argue with him, I worked hard to keep my composure. Yes, I thought that he was scheming again. I explained that our time together is very precious, & yes I was upset that whta he had to do was more important than spending time with his family. I told him thta bc he worked this weekend, I would not see him until next week. I asked him if he expected me to say "okay" when he told me he was going back to the base. He actually told me that he thuoght thta I would be okay with it.<p>He saidhe would only be gone a week & besides I could drive to see him....I thought everything was fine after that.<p>Since last night, I have been getting the silent treatment. He doesn't want to talk about it, he just is upset, but not arguing.<p>I did not argue with my H last night, but I sometimes get the feeling that my H does not expect me to question him. It makes him feel like I am trying to control him. <p>What he doesn't understand is that he caused my questions.