Hi all...
Just some background info. about my situation here. My H is addicted to cybersex, phonesex and some real time fun as well if the other party willing...i got to find this out when i checked the mirc history. That was in early May 2002. Since then, i have started reading about his addiction from books and internet and am all willing to do whatever to save our 6 month old marriage!! I confronted him early June 2002 and he was really shock to know i knew everything....however, he continued his behaviour with disregard of my existance... we weren't talking and i kept asking if he'd be willing to talk about what we should do next...i couldn't take it anymore and went for Plan B after reading so much in here during those times. I am 7 days into Plan B now ... all i heard from him is to transfer some money for his insurance ... and some car chats, we both love cars...we only chat via sms. no phone calls. The note i left him speaks on how i feel and how i wan to help to make the marriage work. Till now, he hadn't done anything to make me feel that this marriage means anything to him. I'm so tired hiding the truth from my family. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Currently i am staying at my mum's and she wonders why i am not going home...tomorrow i am bunking in my friend's place just to stop her queries for a bit....
just wondering, what should i do next? Go back home to confront him again? i doubt that will work if this won't....sigh...i'm just so tired...how long is this gona last....am i supposed to continue hanging in on Plan B? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> He seems oblivious to the whole situation....all i can think about doing now is to pray for him....and pray for our marriage....
Here's a web site for all of you if you need to pray for your SO.
http://www.livingwd.org/ministries/prayers/overcominginfedelity.asp

any advice/insights is greatly appreciated...

One thing i know for sure out of this mess...God is in it with us to help us thru....this will be one of life's trials we have to go thru so we grow to be more like HIM! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
God bless us all....

Welcome veraewp...

There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

You don't seem 100% on some of the basics...
...and this may help:

It has a lot of quick links to many of the most important MB sites...
Click here ==> General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)

About your post...

Plan B is NOT the sameting as separation!

Do consider a start on a Plan A...
Check out the post Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.).

Work on it for as long as you can...
...a couple of days... months... (half a year is not unheard of)... or even a few years....

Let that be the predecessor to a Plan B...
...when it is time to accept the death of the relationship... and only when you can accept it.

If you can't accept that your relationship is in its last stages...
...go back to Plan A.

With the grace of God...
...I'm praying for you.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jim / NSR

Hi Jim,
Thanks for your advice....guess i get my concepts a little mixed up here....will do and read through what you have said here clearly to fully understand the concepts....
I guess i am rather eager to see things happening....and according to my way....will re-read, think hard and pray about what should i do so make this marriage work....

Just hope my H will be willing to talk about it when i get home....he is always stoned up and not communicating at all to me even for daily stuff...guess i'd just have to be more patient...

Glad you replied....thought everyone has given up on my case...heh...

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Thank you so much...God bless...
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Dear Veraewp:
I can imagine how hard this must be for you. It seems from what you said that your H doesnt seem to feel that his behaviour is destructive or wrong. Somehow you need to show him that which I am sure you have. I have heard that pornography is an addiction to some men.

It seems you are doing the right thing by reading as much as you can on the subject and praying and trusting God. I know there is therapy and support groups to help your husband but he has to realize that this is terribly wrong and hurts you deeply. My prayers are with you, Kim...

Hi Kim,
Thank you so much for your words and comfort....
Good news, my H called me today and told me he is ready to talk about it and ask me to come back home....i will be back on Saturday after work....hope he realises and willing to seek help.
Our loving God DO answer prayers...it has been a draining almost 2 weeks waiting and waiting....

So prolly back to Plan A for now since I am not willing to give up my marriage at this point. Going to read more about it now to really understand and do what I have to on Saturday.

Pls pray for me ok? Can't do this without God's help...you'd be in my prayers too....

love,
Vera