First, thank you all. Your posts have gotten me through some rough times these last few months.
Well, my W moved out a week ago. She had an EA and said she needed the space (she is staying with mutual, nice and stable friends). She has since stopped talking to the OM and she is going to therapy for self esteem issues (which contributed to her having the EA in the first place). Since moving out she has been totally honest with me sharing her feelings (this is a big step). Not that she lied so much, but moreso she would always put on this front of being tough and all that.
Anyway, she calls me a couple of times per day. We have spent time here at home watching tv and talking. We had breakfast together on Saturday before she went to work. Then we spent the very next day, all day (Sunday) together, going to a movie and then for a really lovely dinner after.
Now all through this, -even though I feel awful, because I love her and want our marriage to work I have been doing my Plan A. I have *not* been bringing up our marriage in conversation, unless she does first. I have not seemed sad or needy when talking to her on the phone or in-person (which is very difficult because I love and miss her so much). I compliment her appearance, but I don't dwell on it by gently switching subjects. I am not trying to 'win her back' or 'sell myself' as I really didn't do anything wrong to begin with. But I understand her low self esteem issues now and I am mindful of them, so I offer honest (not overboard) re-assurances.
Later that same Sunday (around 9:30 pm) she showed up at our house crying. She said she felt so lost. She asked if I still love her and I told her that of course I love her. I've said that this has hurt me, but I want us to move forward. "This is *our* home," I reminded her, adding that she can come home when she is ready. But since she said she would be gone for a week, I did say this to her: "I want you to come home because I love you and I miss you. But I want you to make it to the one week mark like you said you'd do. Do it for yourself."
I was thinking of her self-esteem and I want to make sure coming home is what W is ready to do.
Without sadness in her voice, she agreed to go to the one week mark.
She is coming over tonight to watch tv and talk. She is also going to a barbeque-birthday party tomorrow nite with her friends. I may have LB'd when I said that I didn't think that was a good idea. But considering her still being in the 'fog' I couldn't help it. She said "Don't get weird" -her term for 'jealous'.
But I feel like, I'm home *alone* being supportive, Plan Aing my butt off, -and she's at a party? It doesn't seem right to me.
I don't know what will happen, but I know that it's still possible that my 'A' may become a 'B' someday afterall.
<small>[ July 16, 2002, 09:25 AM: Message edited by: Lopine ]</small>
