<BR>If anyone remembers I was to meet the H at<BR>my D at Christmas. Well, I did! But before <BR>that we met on Christmas Eve and went to<BR>dinner. I asked him first, but he did agree. <BR>We had a wonderful time and talked for hrs.<BR>We were going to go look at the Christmas <BR>lights, but H said I had rather stay here and<BR>talk. It was a wonderful visit. We talked <BR>mostly about his new job and his new home<BR>in OH. But we also talked about us. How <BR>much we had hurt one another. <BR>On Christmas though, I had spoken with my<BR>D 2 wks before and asked if H and I were <BR>going to exchange gifts. She spoke with him<BR>and he said no. Well H got me a gift. It is <BR>only a sweat shirt. But I thought that was so<BR>sweet of him. On Sunday our S asked us over<BR>for dinner so we spent most of the weekend <BR>together. It was wonderful!! I am still so very <BR>much in Love with him. <BR>Now the question? He left me! am I a Sucker!<BR>or just want to be hurt again!! He wants to <BR>be my friend and I would like to be his. But <BR>I don't think I am capable of just being a <BR>friend. Once over the weekend I mentioned<BR>the OW. I know, WRONG! I asked him if he<BR>was still in love with her. He told me no, they <BR>had not spoken in 3 mos. But when I talked <BR>with him about what he had done wrong and<BR>how he had hurt me he got really defensive <BR>and started to get up and leave. I told him<BR>no please don't leave and us upset. I told him<BR>it had been to good of a weekend to end it<BR>like this. Am I a Sucker????<BR>

No you aren't a sucker.<P>Please go to NSR's post about plan A and his visits with Steve Harley. <P>Your marriage is still worth fighting for. You still have the rest of your life to work on your self esteem/sucker issues. Right now, I think you should do a plan A, and it sounds like your husband is receptive.<P>But you shouldn't bring up OW or your hurts again, because like you said - he will get defensive. It is a lovebuster right now. There is time much later in recovery to start talking about you.<P>It is wonderful that he is not seeing the OW anymore.<P>Keep reading and posting! <P>RECONCILE - first your friendship, but keep your eyes on the goal.

I agree with TNT. Concentrate on establishing a friendship first. There is the closeness of a 25 year marriage that can escalate friendship very rapidly. Also, I think he is facing the reality of being alone and may not be as happy as he thought he would be. Take care and keep up the good work.