lately, my H has been calling more than usual, its been 9 months and OW lives with him, is this a sign that A might be ending, i'm still plan aing, but sometimes i feel unsure if i should be talking to him for so long, as he only discusses our child, confused?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by nezi:
<strong>lately, my H has been calling more than usual, its been 9 months and OW lives with him, is this a sign that A might be ending, i'm still plan aing, but sometimes i feel unsure if i should be talking to him for so long, as he only discusses our child, confused?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you are in plan A, Listen ... Listen ... Listen ... avoid giving him advice unless you are asked ... avoid attacking OW ... if H bring subject in relationship and it is the fact that you 've done wrong ... apologize to H and tell H that you are changing or learn to "fix" it. If H talk in his fog ... don't engage ... duck down, just say that you have diff. point of view and try to move on on diff. subject.

Is A ending ? ... nope unless you hear it & see it w/ your own eyes, A is still going on and now you are playing the OW !!!. Don't talk about R unless H bring it up. Use this opportunity to have no LB and fill in some of his ENs ... admirations ? affections ? emotional strength ? ... plan up what you want to say and even write it down.

-RH-

Thank you so much for your help! i was beginning to feel like the OW, didn't know what was going on or if they were having problems. sometimes he'll ask how's work and thats about the only other topic. should i bring up old memories or anything, and if he brings out R talk, we're in the middle of D, what should i say?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by nezi:
<strong>Thank you so much for your help! i was beginning to feel like the OW, didn't know what was going on or if they were having problems. sometimes he'll ask how's work and thats about the only other topic. should i bring up old memories or anything, and if he brings out R talk, we're in the middle of D, what should i say?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Say nothing about R unless WH brings it up first ... if you up to it ... say 'I love you at the end of call and then hang up w/o waiting for reply. Ask about his well being, health wise ... what he ate for lunch an so on ... NO LB'ed. Past memory is good but don't go out of your way to do it ... let it comes naturally.

Dv could be cancel at anytime ...

If H talk about past R ... go w/ the flow. Again about the past you apologize for your mistake and tell him actions or plan actions to correct that. If it is come out the fog ... change the subject or just listen and don't reply except .. hmm, oh iya ... If H talk about future R ... it depends what is your H top 3 ENs ... this is your chances to fill in his or you could tell H that you don't know and you will figure it out later.

Same thing if you missed H tremendously ... at the end of the call ... tell H "I missed you" and then hung up.

-RH-

Hi redhat...those are wonderful advice and they helped to answer some of my questions!Thanks! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />