I'm 3mths into Plan A since D-day....never talk abt our R or OW as part of the plan and eliminating all LBs and being attractive to WH.
Sometimes there are baby steps...he message me on my cellphone for no reason...he finally took me out to meet his friends for drinks (Recreation need)
Then i still discover that he's still bringing OW home and sleeping with her recently.I feel i'm running out of gas for Plan A but at the same time...i know i've not done enough.

We've been living apart since we are married....i just wish he'll let me stay with him instead of me with my parents and our child.

I wonder why he is holding on...is there anybody feeling the same?
Can someboday share what is working for them in dealing with a cake-eater? How are you coping?

Confuse n Lost,

Most likely you have to go to plan B to tip the balance. For right now, learn and change the best you could under plan A ... remember there is no perfect plan A nor plan B ... as long as there is a progress you should not get discourage. When you are stronger emotionally and it will be come natural your LB$ will decrease ... that is the time you do plan B ...

Some cake eater better suit them with "tough love" but you make sure that OW is not ready to take H .... Orchid does that to her H to end the cake eater mentality.

-RH-

I'm really sorry for what you are going through. I think Plan B might just be what the doctor ordered, too. Have you read the books recommended on this site? Take time to read before making a decision you might not be ready to make.

I wish you all the best as you heal and recover!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks Redhat...your posts are often encouraging and wise.I really appreciate the advice you give.
I've always known i need to go into Plan B but i need a good Plan A to give him some reasons to return. I was needy, clingy and LBing for the 1 year about him having an A before he admit.

I've become stronger since D-day and indicated i'm ready to let him go but he told me it's not the end. (a sign that Tough Love will work?)

What do u mean by knowing if OW is not ready to take H?
i think she'll love to have him all to herself...
I do know OW is a flight hostess and have irregular working schedule and from reading what she wrote to him ... she's always frighten for them but thoughts of leaving him falls to dust (some poem i found she wrote to him recently which i tore up) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Free2Bme....thanks,i've read ur posts before and i wish the same for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I've read SAA,Love must be tough and another book by the author of divorcebusting.

I'll start to write my Plan B letter soon but i won't implement yet because his account still have enough love units. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ July 27, 2002, 01:54 PM: Message edited by: Confuse n Lost ]</small>

I finally told my MIL abt the A over the weekend and she encourage me to hold on and she thinks that WH won't ask for divorce and he's just flirting around.
i cant see WH for the next 10 days while he's on a course. I really want to ask him to let me move back in with him but i guess he'll reject me again.

Tonday's one of the day i'm feeling hopeless and lost about the situation again.