Hi! Here's my story. Married for 16yrs, 2 kids DD age 14, DS age 8. Found out H was havinf an affair. H broke it off supposedly. We were doing very well Until last spring when he started seeing her again. I could tell because his attitude towards me changed. H moved out 17 weeks ago. He moved in with OW 7/2/02. The OW is seperated from her H, has a 3yr D & is pregnant by her H. I heard the same stroy from H, I have feelings for you, but am not in love with you. I did all the wrong things in begginning, begged, cried etc. until I realized that I pushed him right to OW. Now I try to be very friendly, upbeat etc. He wasn't giving kids much attention, always to busy. He has used me as a doormat & I won't allow it any more. I realize that I can change me, but not him. He hasn't done anything but threaten to get seperation. He knows that isn't what I want. I also feel that he doesn't know what he wants either. HE still hasn't moved anything out of houseyet, only clothes he first took with him. His family sees nothing wrong, they tell me that me & the kids need to deal with it & move on. I am not their DIL, they have shut me out. I just wish he would realize what he si doing to everyone. The problem is that he is an alien & living in LALA Land!!

Cheryl

Dear Cheryl,

Welcome to MB. Please read as much as you can about MB. Quick guide for BS is a must reading.

You are doing good realizing that you could only change you ... so ignore A for now and start looking on what are your contribution to the problem.

Stay away from IL ... don't hope or try to get their support too. Blood is thicker than water. Only gave them info when they asked.

Read read read and get busy ... snoop if you must to access the situation ... post for update or another point of view ... get MB counseling if you could afford it.

-RH-

Hi!
I have been feeling really good the last 2 days. No contact or siting. It is hard because we both live in a small village & he also works in the village. I feel great with no contact. The only thing that bothers me is that he knows that the kids & I are going away togerther on Thursday for 1 week & he has made no attempt to schedule to see them before we go. Oh well that will be his loss. He also has not seen or talked to D since Wed. I think this is just where I need to be right now, very minimal contact is any. I think that this will drive him crazy. He has always known that I am waiting for him, not now.

Cheryl

Cheryl,

Welcome to MB! It sounds like you are doing the right thing for yourself and your kids right now. Maybe a week away will be the thing for you at this time. I think that since your H hasn't moved all his stuff in with OW then he doesn't see this as permanent, esp. with her child on the way. I would bet that baby brings here and her H back together.

Good luck with your personal healing and recovery!

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Hello Everyone,

I had a good weekend. Still no contact since Thursday. H called & left message. I am feeling good. No desire to talk to him. He wants space then I will give it to him.Can't wait to go away. He wants to take the kids for dinner on Tuesday, we had plans but I will try to rearrange because I know the kids would like to see him. H hasn't talked or seen D since last Wed. I hope he opens his eyes soon!!

Cheryl

Hello,

I just spoke with my H. I think he is very confused & doesn't know which way to turn. I am going to show him in everyway I can that there is still hope for our M & family. I think that my vacation with the kids will be good for all of us. I think that he will miss not being part of the family vacation. Oh well that was his choice.

Cheryl <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hey, jimanda,

Are you back from your trip... how did it go?

Thinking of you and the kids,

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Hello everyone,

Had a great vacation. We were all able to relax. The kids really enjoyed it. H accused me of taking the kids away to turn them against him. The whole week the kids never mention him. He is turning them away all by himself. While away H broke into house & removed most of his clothes. I was glad the kids didn't have to witness this. He didn't even have time to spend with them today, said he was to busy. Hasn't seen the kids in 1 1/2 weeks. That is his problem.

Cheryl