I hope this is the right place for this post. I am dealing with several issues at this time.
First, my wife wants to be seperated and has even asked for a divorce. The request was quite shocking as I was working diligently on Plan A. We separated 2 weeks ago. She claims that her reason wanting to separate is that I was verbally abusive. She came to her conclusion after reading a book titled "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. She has also told me that she does not love me any more. While I am guilty of sarcasm and some other minor offenses, I believe that my wife has chosen to look back at only these isolated incidents and has built a pile of negative thoughts. The book outlines extreme examples of abuse that I am not guilty of.

Second, my wife is currently in a very angry state. She wants to be as far away from me as possible. She wants her space.

As a side note, she has also had an emotional affair with a high school friend. In fact she has been reaching out and reconnecting socially with all of her high school friends currently and seems to be reverting back to thinking like a high school-aged person. I say this becuase of the fact that she said she just wants to be friends with me and once we are speparated that we can still go out to do nice things.

It seems that I am now in Plan B and need some help. Is her desire to be as far away from me as possible a temporary thing? Is it based on some sort of anger/justification for her affair? Do you have any other reasons?

I still love my wife and want to work this out. I feel that she is operating in another world and if, by some chance, she can get back to reality that we still have a chance? Is this a realistic thought?

Welcome jsiena...

There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

It has a lot of quick links to many of the most important MB sites...
Click here ==> General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)

About your post...

Do start on a Plan A...
Check out the post Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.) since this is where you need to be for a while before moving to Plan B.

Even though you are separated, it doesn't mean you are in Plan B...
...you are where you want to be...
...and you need to work through Plan A for 3,4,5 or 6 months or more!

When you are ready to release from your marriage...
...when your balance of Love is sooooooo low...
...then and only then move... slowly... to Plan B.

Do read Plan B - 101 (2nd ed.) as well as Plan B - 201.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jim / NSR

Thank you for the support. I forgot to add that my wife wants to meet with a mediator in three days to draw up a separation agreement. She seems so determined to end this relationship quickly and I feel she is making a hasty decision. Is Plan A/B about saying yes to the legal separation? How can I work on this from afar?

Ask you W to put a hold on anything (mediator/divorce) for at least 3 months...

..use that time to Plan A!

Try to avoid a separation...
...but even if she leaves...
...stick with a "long distance" Plan A.

...for a few months.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jim/NSR