I didn't really think about it. I just did it. My parents paid for me and our four kids (ages 1 - 8) to visit them for a week. I got out there and within one day decided that it was very nice not to be sworn at. I asked my H to leave.

He picked us up from the airport on Monday and tried to convince me to stay. I said no -- that it was bad for the kids to witness what they have. He left. Only one child has mentioned him -- our 3 year old thought he was coming home because another child had opened the garage door.) That's it. I don't know what they are thinking or if they really have missed him since his attention was so focused on OW that he abandoned the family.

My H is calling me noe and saying he is afraid he is going to be a divorced Dad and he feels hopeless and he doesn't know what to do to earn back my trust but he would do anything.

Last week, he was telling me that he had lunch with OW the day after I was hospitalized for surgery because he had called and asked if I wanted him to come in and I had said, "No, no, if you're too busy, I'll be fine..."

He had an affair and had told me enough that I was hysterical about her and when I threatened to call her in December he punched me and broke my arm. Now he is in an anger management group but he says it takes longest to get over swearing. I just plain have had it.

I don't want our kids to grow up without a Dad, but it is hard not to face what they have seen as being damaging. Last week, my parents were just appalled that the 6 year old said "I'll break down the door" and the 3 year old said "Daddy spanked Mommy."

My H wants to know what he can do or is it now "too little, too late"? I'm not sure... I still want to stay married to him, but I just cannot believe he would have an affair and lie about it and even break my arm and physically attack me in other ways because I was upset about OW -- even though he kept saying"nothing happened".

We are going to counseling, but the focus is so negative -- my not being able to get over the affair and my H swearing. Any suggestions? Can we set up a plan for his return?