First, my thanks goes to another site member for their letter that I used to build this one.
Please let me know if this is good enough.
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Michele,
This is the hardest letter I've ever written. I would first like to apologize for my part in the demise of our marriage. I foolishly pursued my own creative interests assuming you would simply understand and be supportive. I know that you say that you want your space and independence, but by turning to your employees for companionship and validation, -I now understand how important that need was. Maybe I failed to give you enough praise. Maybe I was selfishly caught up in myself, and with my selfishness and foolishness I helped create a void in our marriage that allowed this affair to happen. I really believed that I was always there for you when you needed me. But if that isn’t so, then I was wrong, very wrong and I apologize to you from the bottom of my heart for all the pain I have caused you.
More than anything else in this world, I would like to be able to put the mistakes of the past behind us and build a better life together. I want us to strive to grow while avoiding the same mistakes that got us to the place we find ourselves now and more than anything else, I want us to go forward together.
Since this began, I've been trying to give you hope for the marriage by learning how to be a better husband to you. To give you hope that you could return to a marriage that you wanted and for us to build a great life together filled with all of the things we both love. But I cannot do this while your attachment to other people continues. I have waited patiently for these things to end and it has been very difficult, and I'm afraid that my stamina for this is waning. In order to protect the love and respect that I feel for you, I believe it would be best for us not to have any contact. I cannot continue to see or talk with you while the affair/flirting with Jasen and others continues. This is not to punish you, -it's to give our marriage the best chance to survive.
Until then I must avoid seeing you or talking to you. I’ll be able to help you a little bit financially. But there are a few specific bills we have that need to be addressed. The first is the car insurance, the second is the cell-phone, and the third is our bank account. My solution to this is we keep together the car insurance. But that bills specific to you be rerouted to the apartment. Since I won't be in contact, the best way to do this will be for you to keep the current checking account so as not to bounce any outstanding checks and I will open my own. But if you come up with a better solution please let me know and I will be open to any creative ideas you have, since you know the ebb and flow of our finances best. I will give you the checkbooks for the account.
I hope that you will try hard to understand that I am not doing this to hurt you or punish you but instead I am doing this difficult thing to protect my feelings for you and any chance of reconciliation in the future. I ask that you please respect my decision to separate in this way. You must know the pain I have endured, -not because of your career that I have always supported, but because of the affair and your ongoing relationships. It seems like I’m always being dropped for anyone that compliments or flirts with you. And since I want to keep and protect my feelings of love and respect for you, that’s why I can no longer see you under the current conditions. However, when you are willing to be completely honest with everyone, end these obsessive relationships and demonstrate your ability to enact measures that will prevent this from happening again, I will be ready and willing to discuss our future together.
I still want us to have a life together that’s changing and growing; one that’s built on trust and centered on each other and our work. I love you Michele; I want you to be my wife. I know this hurts and you know it hurts me too. The night I proposed to you I meant what I said. I want you to be my wife and I want to grow old with you. I want us to have a lifestyle in which we will never have to separate again. I want to be your best friend and confidant, and the one person who is always there for you. I love being your number one Spartan cheerleader. And I want you to be my best friend and confidant, and number one Spartan cheerleader too.
I have tried the best that I know how to express my love for you and my desire to have you in my life as my wife again. When I look at you I never see ‘old and ugly’ and I never will. But I don’t know what else to say. I could hold on and make a nuisance of myself but I love you too much to cause you any more pain than I already have.
I just really needed you to know how much I still love you and how sorry I am for any mistakes that I made. They say that we should learn from our mistakes, and I know that’s true but I just wish the lesson didn’t cost so much.
I was blown away by you when we met and I love you more today than I did when we first married. I can’t sit here and say that I now know all that I need to know about relationships, but I can honestly say that I do know a lot more about friendship, honor, cherishing, being passionately creative, supportive and even simple companionship. And I think that I have been a supportive and loving man. The type of man that I hoped you would be proud of to call your husband; the same pride I felt so many times when I called you my wife.
I am still dedicated to make our marriage a place you will really want to be.
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