Hi, this is my first post. I have been reading the various posts and feel this is a great place to talk to those who have walked in my shoes. Sometimes friends and family don't understand as they have never been here.
I have been married for 14 years, 3 school aged kids. Found out about the OW (someone at H's work) in April. Confronted H and he didn't deny. Agreed to try to work things out if he had no contact. He remained in the house. Found out a week later he was talking on phone to OW. Asked him to move out for awhile. Throughout the summer the pattern has been that he comes around, talks to me, etc. I guess I have been doing Plan A because I have made it clear from day one that I love him and want to work things out. At first he was very mean, almost angry at me, etc. Repeatedly he would tell me the A was over, but that he wasn't sure if he wanted the M, but he was always lying. Finally in Sept I thought we really turned a corner, he wanted to come home, said he broke off the A for good. Started to be very loving, affectionate. Two weeks later I found out he was still in the A. He says that he really wants to end it but whenever he tries, he can't keep it up, always goes back. At this point I would like to do Plan B, but whenever I try, it only lasts a few days then I cave in and call or try to talk with him about things.
How can I find the will power to carry out Plan B when I seem to fail every time? Plan A has been 6 mos., should I continue a little longer? He says sometimes he wants to come home, sometimes doesn't. I feel like I am enabling him to never make a decision as he has the "best of both worlds"?
Any advice is appreciated!!!
