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I'm curious if anyone can offer me up any advice on this.
After recently discovering W's A, and the initial angry and sad outbursts from myself and her, W has mentioned that she is ready to talk. However, that's always said at inopportune moments.
When the oppotunity arises, is it wise for me to initiate a conversation about ending the A and where we're going as a couple, or should that be something that's left for her to start?
What's the best Plan A course of action?
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 324
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 324 |
Ok, im no expert but after discovering my H afair about 1 month later i sat him down and ask him point blank what he wanted. But during that month i had worked my butt off doing plan a. be careful, you may hear things that really hurt. Try not to react to them.. I think making decisions that affect your life when you are hurt, angry or scared is a bad decision. Remember that plan a takes a lot of patience. I am still in plan a OW is still around somewhat and it is still rocky, and i don't know how this is going to turn out however, i think that not talking about what her ideas are is also bad. You need to know where you are. I didn't see your story. And like i said, i am no expert.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 187
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 187 |
I'm no expert either.
I'd say work on yourself. Change yourself and the ways that you know that you were not being the best husband you could be. Show your WW the changes (don't tell her.) She will notice them. Try to meet her needs and spend as much time with her (that she will allow.) Do not LB (most important!)
This whole thing is gradual.
As for getting WW to get rid of OM, I'm not so sure. The A should die a natural death, but perhaps from your Plan A, your WW will see the light and realize the mistake. Don't count on that though, expect the worst, and do Plan A for you regardless of WW's words and actions (don't let them throw you off the path.)
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