I hesitated mentioning this before, but I had bugged the PC some time ago. This is how I became aware of my wife's internet and (#2) physical affair.

I forgot and left my explorer open the other day - she found everything I had documented - she had already known I had read her e mails. Now she knows everything I know (IMs).

She was a bit angry but she really took it rather well - said she probably would have done the same thing.

So I can no longer keep tabs on the PC usage - I'm very parnoid about this but I'm almost relieved. I knew that I wanted to tell her at sometime in the future - I just didn't know when. I have only to assume this is God's will.

Though I support snooping if required - - It Stinks ! I feel justified in doing so but I hate being put in a position where I too must keep a secret. Secrets have been so devastating in thte past.

Told W that all I have left now is to trust her - and right now I have very little trust. At least I can say she has been supportive of my feelings. That is - she understands that I'm very hurt and angry. Nothing intimate has taken place reciently - but she still seems to think they can "just be friends" - - NOT !!

So I continue to relish the good days and hang on for the bad ones. I continue to Strive to put this behind us and make a better marriage than we had before.

Strive,

I found out about my wifes affair the same way... I wish she had been even remotely understanding about the logging software... suddenly i am the bad guy in this situation...

She also states that she will remain "friends" with the guy... and it is killing me every day.

I have watched her get into his car... seen her come home from spending time with him...

The spying was painful enough on it's own, knowing everytime i opened the program that it really was true... i didn't trust her anymore.

Best of luck

God Bless
Tim
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Denial didn't work... time for Plan A

Tim,

Though I stated that snooping stinks - consider this when your W feels you're the bad guy :

The only reason a spouse should have problems with their husband or wife snooping is if they have something to hide.

Had my wife snooped on me - I would actually have considered it somewhat amusing - I've done no fooling around & I have nothing to hide.

As most of us have discovered - your wife has an addiction - an addiction to the other person. Sometimes looking at it like this can be of some support for you. As we know there is NO WAY they could remain just friends. It's gone much to far for that.

Just hang in there - stay strong. I've been through this before and you CAN get past it. If you need - don't hesitate to see the Doc & get some ADs to help you. This will help you to remain functional in the midst of this stress. Seek counsiling - for YOU if necessary. If the both of you can ever do it together - then great.

Right now - concentrate on keeping yourself healthy. You have to remain strong to address this issue.

Feel free to reply - You're in my prayers.

Strive

I doubt that any one could be convinced that snoopping is really only hazzardous to the BS's health, the things you find are most likely things you would rather not have to keep having played on continous loopback in your mind, like a video tape of your WW and OM, but no one could have conviced me at the time, I had to know, and now I have to live with that knowledge, its not good for your menatlity. Your WS will evenlutally hang themselves out in the open, no amount of snoopping will ever result in anything positive, besides most of what we discover like in emails are really only works of fiction since the A is a fantasy, and based on lies.

Its better to start reading SAA if you think your M is in trouble, or HNHN and LB that way your taking positive steps instead of negative ones.

SS - Thanks for the comments.

I don't entirely agree with you. True- snooping is a double edged swoard - when you find something, it's gonna hurt. And I don't believe that this in itself will work to repair a marriage. However - If I hadn't have snooped, I'd still be in the dark. I only wish I had have snooped much earlier in the game before any physical action had taken place. That wouldn't have been a gaurentee that the marriage could have been helped - but at least I would have had the opportunity to try.

I do agree however that e mails & such are fiction - but it does give one an insight to the state of the affair - - providing you don't get caught <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Cheers