Hello,

I thought that I would post this here as well as in GQII:

Hello all,

I have been lurking for some time and I have read the entire web site, and bought the appropriate Books, HNHN, LBers, etc... And while I have learned a great deal( Duh, who doesn't! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ). I still believe that I am in a unique, although not uncommon situation. Before I pose the question, here is the story...

Like most people here, we thought that just being married would entitle us to eternal bliss simply because we were married. Over the four years we have been married the relationship slowly fell apart. It came to a head two months ago we she asked me to move out. Because I thought that it was all my fault, I did. Fast forward through many strange days to election day and I got the two for one special. She confessed to having two affairs. One last summer with one of my best friends which she claims was "just physical" and one (EA and PA) currently in progress with the guy she dumped for me 7 years ago. This is a case of extra thick fog. She justifies it as something she should have done in the first place.( eg. "I should have never married you. I should have dated then went back to him"). My guess is that the the OM sees this as something that is "meant to be".

Anyway, all the pieces came together the instant she fessed up. All the defensiveness, going out w/o me, traveling w/o me, evading her own parents and good friends, made "sense" given this "new" information.

Fortunately for me I was already on prozac and undergoing treatment for depression. In hind sight( always 20-20 ), I suppose I kind of already suspected but instead of confronting the problem I withdrew more and more.

As you can tell I have a lid on my emotions and want to work it out. We are scheduled to enter counciling a week from Monday. I have some reason to believe that she has ended to PA with the ExBF but I know that she is still in contact with him. Of course, I am in Plan A.

Sorry for all the sarcasm <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> and rambling. I know my resposibility in all of this. I love my wife and I really am hurting. This is my way of venting.

Any words of wisdom for dealing with this AAA rated fog?

[ November 17, 2002, 04:42 PM: Message edited by: Luki ]