I'm just posting to let you all know what I'm going through because I don't talk about this stuff with anyone else.

WW moved out in August to "find herself and make her decision". Meanwhile I've been doing my Plan-A for 10 months+

I let her know that she had 6 months to get herself together. Recently I have reminded her that we will no longer see or talk to each other as of Jan 1 2003. I did tell her that I love her, but also that neither she (nor anyone else) can fault me for being unsupportive or pushy and impatient. I have been kind and forgiving and supportive for our entire marriage. Further, I have forgiven her for her A. But, I have also made it very clear that things aren't going to continue like this: Seeing each other while living apart.

I am trying to be strong through all of this, even though at times I feel like crying. But I never actually cry, because it would be over nothing. It's more a feeling of disappointment and loss of respect for someone I once respected. She is not the woman I married. She has intentionally become an immature airhead (it's even affecting her job). And the OM? He's not in the picture anymore because the A burned out within a few weeks.

She still hasn't made any so-called "decision" although I have reminded her that it isn't hers to make. Her coming home means *not* being irresponsible and immature. A marriage isn't a hobby you pick up or put down when you're bored.
But again, I wouldn't have to explain this to a smart young woman, now would I? So maybe I already have my "answer".

Meanwhile, I continue to strive for my goals and I am on the very cusp of some major accomplishments. This makes me proud and gives me a feeling of *I'm okay, I'm a good person, and women will still like me* goodness.

Thanks for being here, I just wanted to post an update.

Lopine

You sound as if you are ready for Plan B, from the tone of your post you have lost a lot of love for your W. Please don't take this the wrong way but why is she acting like she is if it is not an A? Does she have a problem? Your circumstances are different than mine. My W is having an A so I had to go to Plan B after 5 months of Plan A and no sign of OP going. I did tell my WS that she could have only one of us in her life in the future. I offered to leave and put her on an allowance similar to a D - she did not like the idea saying that she would give me another chance. I did not give her a timescale for Plan B. Telling WS a date that you are going to Plan B can be seen as a threat according to this site. In actuality although I knew months ago that I would probably have to go to Plan B. When the anticipated time came I did not go until the conditions were right i.e. I was losing my love for her. In my case it was brought about by my work location changing - the extra stress was too great and Plan B came as a result.

Please take advice from an MB MC as I feel your circumstances are different.
NS

I'm sorry, I know how it sounds posted above, but my Plan-B date wasn't delivered as a threat. She was in the fog and snapping at me (trying to justify her actions by starting an argument, as described by the Hartleys, -something she has tried on other occasions) so I just sat down with her and calmly let her know that I wouldn't stand for this verbal abuse anymore, and that I would have to move on if she didn't display any effort to make our marriage work. The look on her face and her tone of voice changed as though she had hit a wall.

She realizes that her emotional tricks aren't going to work on me anymore. But I have no doubt that she will feign misunderstanding when the end of the year arrives. Though it will do her no good. She's trying to be a cake eater. She will starve.