Hey all...hope for some advice. My significant other and I are 2500 miles apart - he's military and stationed out of state.

He started an intense EA when he relocated - we had broken up for a short period. We were working on reconciling and as we were making progress, he confessed the EA - we were not only reconciling but had begun to move forward with our future plans - had a deposit on a house and were trying to have a baby - in fact, I had just lost twins.

Anyway, plan A'd for the last month, but being so far away, it's really hard - he is still in contact with her - I have asked over and over and told him that unconditionally, he had to stop talking to her if we were to ever recover from this and move on. He can't seem to stop - blames her, says 'she CALLED me', etc, etc.... so, I have decided to move to plan B. I told him, do not call me as long as you are still in contact with OW.

He is having a really hard time with it.

My question is.....is it too harsh, or too early, - the right thing to do? I'm scared....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My question is.....is it too harsh, or too early, - the right thing to do? I'm scared....</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Remember that the purpose of plan B is NOT to punish the WS with no contact, but to send the clear message that while you still love him very much, the present situation of his contact with the OW is excruciatingly painful for you to endure and that until he ends said contact for good and committs to marital recovery, you will not have any contact with him.

As far as plan B being the right thing to do, only you can answer this question because you have more details on your situation than we could possibly hope to have. Plan B is best implemented when you've done a good plan A but your love bank funds are dwindling very fast. Yes it's scary because an emotional and physical separation MAY not bring your H back and ultimately be the first step in the demise of your M, but then this can happen anyway without the implementation of plan B. The difference is that with plan B you are using a strategy that has proven in many, many cases to have good results for helping to end affairs because the OP now has to satisfy all the WS's EN's and more than likely will not be very succesful in doing so, AND because of this you can walk away from the M knowing that you gave it your best shot without the constant thoughts of 'what if' that seem to plague most BS that get divorced.

I hope this helped you.

in my opinion....great post coffee