If I could hear some expert advice from several of you, I'd certainly appreciate it. Here is the question: My H was just becoming involved with a mutual friend of ours appox. 7 months ago. Most of their communication was done on-line, although they did have several meetings (under the disquise of our children playing together). Anyway, the relationship was just getting heated up when her H found out and confronted them. He promised me they would not contact each other again, and that it was over. But I have always had the keen feeling that he was NOT over her, and missed her very much.<BR>Recently a mutual friend of ours spoke with my H and he disclosed to her that he really missed the OW and thought about her all the time. Although, he didnt know what do to with these feelings since he knew what the consequenes would be if they were found out AGAIN.<BR>My question is this. I am obviously not what my H wants or desires at this time in our relationship. The longer he goes without her, it seems the more he desires her. I am so tired of this, I could scream. She is the forbidden fruit and I am sure they are going to connect very soon. (Our children are involved in an evening activity together every 2 weeks and he sees her then. Up to now I think they've only made small talk, but I think this is what is sparking the relationship again. <BR>Please someone give me some advice!!!!!<BR>thanks<BR>

Aces,<P>A few questions...<P>Is there any chance that you too can go to the evening activity so he won't be alone with her(OW). One of the "Four rules to guide marital recovery"... <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>The Rule of Time:</B> Take time to give your spouse undivided attention. (page 127 of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"</A>)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>...by spending as much time as possible... and is a good follow up to the "recovery's" extraordinary precautions to guarantee separation...<BR><OL TYPE=1> <BR><LI> Changing jobs and relocating (Situation dependent)<BR><LI> Blocking all communication (phone, e-mail, pager, etc.)<BR><LI> Accounting for time<BR><LI> Accounting for money<BR><LI> Spending leisure time together<BR></OL>... of this "accounting for time" should be important to <B>you</B>.<P>Any counseling on the horizon?...<BR>Maybe it is time to consider that too!<BR>Get a referral from MB... or use Steve Harley directly.<P>Jim

Jim's exactly right.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>